A song I'm working on... (lyrics, instrumental, genre, vocalist)

Blue · 03-23-2009, 03:55 PM

I'm not exactly sure which forum this fits into, because I'm not sure what this would be defined as genre wise, but I'd love any thoughts anyone has. I have the whole song written out, but only the first two verse/chorus sections actually recorded. I still have some instrumental sections, a solo section and another verse/chorus to throw in. I honestly haven't written many vocal tracks (you'll have to bear with my voice as I'm generally off because I don't have much experience as a vocalist, but I think it's just a matter of practice to make sure I'm hitting the tones correctly), but I've kind of had an itch to start recently.

Anyways, I'd love any thoughts anyone may have, good or bad, so just lay it on me. Thanks in advance for listening.

(new one, with improved(?) vocals)

https://www.yousendit.com/transfer.p...YUlveE5FQlE9PQ

...or if you prefer...

http://www.2shared.com/file/5160464/...singing__.html

(old one)

2shared - download Learning How to Fall (added second verse).mp3

(in case you're lost, click the "Save file to PC" button at the bottom right)

Edit - By the way, kudos to the poster who had "I'm just a man, learning to fall" in their sig, I owe you (or someone else) a writing credit on that one. I had all of the music there, and I just saw that written on a page in front of me because I copied it down, and the whole thing came together after that.

Edit again - So after taking into account Emsanders advice (which I'm quite thankful for), I changed my approach to singing and it feels more comfortable. I was hoping to get some thoughts on whether people like it more or not. If I'm still awful, please don't be afraid to tell me though.

Husky McDump · 03-23-2009, 04:31 PM

The guitar lines run smoothly, my only word of advice is change the octave that you're singing in. From what I heard, it seems as though your "pushing" the sound out of your throat rather than singing in a more comfortable tone and letting the sound resonate from your stomach. It should almost feel like breathing while your sing (at least that's how it goes for me). I like the lyrics as well. Keep it up!

-EMS-

Blue · 03-23-2009, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emsanders

The guitar lines run smoothly, my only word of advice is change the octave that you're singing in. From what I heard, it seems as though your "pushing" the sound out of your throat rather than singing in a more comfortable tone and letting the sound resonate from your stomach. It should almost feel like breathing while your sing (at least that's how it goes for me). I like the lyrics as well. Keep it up!

-EMS-

That's actually just the kind of advice I was looking for, because I think that's exactly what I'm doing. Thank you very, very much.

Blue · 03-23-2009, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emsanders

The guitar lines run smoothly, my only word of advice is change the octave that you're singing in. From what I heard, it seems as though your "pushing" the sound out of your throat rather than singing in a more comfortable tone and letting the sound resonate from your stomach. It should almost feel like breathing while your sing (at least that's how it goes for me). I like the lyrics as well. Keep it up!

-EMS-

I don't mean to post-pad, but believe it or not, I tried to do as you said, and I honestly feel much more comfortable singing instantly. I doesn't feel like I'm pushing anymore. So honestly, thank you. I'll post a new take up soon.

Blue · 03-23-2009, 05:42 PM

Again, I don't mean to post pad (though I suppose now that's what I'm guilty of anyways), but I put up a new take while singing much more comfortably.

Dr_Rez · 03-24-2009, 09:36 PM

Downloading now, will get back shortly.

Dr_Rez · 03-24-2009, 09:46 PM

Sounds fantastic. Sound quality is wonderful and with a little work your voice will fit in perfect. I suggest adding another part other than A-B. Maybe a short C with some riffing or chord changes. Perhaps going to secondary dominant, that usually get the job done for me.

All in all wonderful work. Good luck with your voice training!

03-23-2009, 03:55 PM	#1 (permalink)
Blue Music Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Toronto, ON Posts: 287	A song I'm working on... I'm not exactly sure which forum this fits into, because I'm not sure what this would be defined as genre wise, but I'd love any thoughts anyone has. I have the whole song written out, but only the first two verse/chorus sections actually recorded. I still have some instrumental sections, a solo section and another verse/chorus to throw in. I honestly haven't written many vocal tracks (you'll have to bear with my voice as I'm generally off because I don't have much experience as a vocalist, but I think it's just a matter of practice to make sure I'm hitting the tones correctly), but I've kind of had an itch to start recently. Anyways, I'd love any thoughts anyone may have, good or bad, so just lay it on me. Thanks in advance for listening. (new one, with improved(?) vocals) https://www.yousendit.com/transfer.p...YUlveE5FQlE9PQ ...or if you prefer... http://www.2shared.com/file/5160464/...singing__.html (old one) 2shared - download Learning How to Fall (added second verse).mp3 (in case you're lost, click the "Save file to PC" button at the bottom right) Edit - By the way, kudos to the poster who had "I'm just a man, learning to fall" in their sig, I owe you (or someone else) a writing credit on that one. I had all of the music there, and I just saw that written on a page in front of me because I copied it down, and the whole thing came together after that. Edit again - So after taking into account Emsanders advice (which I'm quite thankful for), I changed my approach to singing and it feels more comfortable. I was hoping to get some thoughts on whether people like it more or not. If I'm still awful, please don't be afraid to tell me though. Last edited by Blue; 03-23-2009 at 05:43 PM.

03-23-2009, 04:31 PM	#2 (permalink)
Husky McDump No Shirt Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Minneapolis, MN Posts: 442	The guitar lines run smoothly, my only word of advice is change the octave that you're singing in. From what I heard, it seems as though your "pushing" the sound out of your throat rather than singing in a more comfortable tone and letting the sound resonate from your stomach. It should almost feel like breathing while your sing (at least that's how it goes for me). I like the lyrics as well. Keep it up! -EMS- __________________ not everyone can make it to the pros, some rise to the top, others down low.

03-24-2009, 09:36 PM	#6 (permalink)
Dr_Rez Registered Jimmy Rustler Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: USA Posts: 5,360	Downloading now, will get back shortly. __________________ Best chance of losing virginity is in prison crew Always Checks Credentials Crew nba > nfl crew Shave one of my legs to pretend its a girl in my bed crew

03-24-2009, 09:46 PM	#7 (permalink)
Dr_Rez Registered Jimmy Rustler Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: USA Posts: 5,360	Sounds fantastic. Sound quality is wonderful and with a little work your voice will fit in perfect. I suggest adding another part other than A-B. Maybe a short C with some riffing or chord changes. Perhaps going to secondary dominant, that usually get the job done for me. All in all wonderful work. Good luck with your voice training! __________________ Best chance of losing virginity is in prison crew Always Checks Credentials Crew nba > nfl crew Shave one of my legs to pretend its a girl in my bed crew

03-23-2009, 05:42 PM	#5 (permalink)
Blue Music Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Toronto, ON Posts: 287	Again, I don't mean to post pad (though I suppose now that's what I'm guilty of anyways), but I put up a new take while singing much more comfortably.