The I'm A Bigger Prick Than You thread
 

I am Pete Doherty

I am a bigger prick than you because I read poetry as if it is my own creation, and I look into the cameras with a wide eyed & blank face signifying my inner beauty. I write on my walls with romantic statements to show how I am truly one of the world's modern day poets. I need not learn guitar, because if I did, I wouldn't be as cool. I started off quite well but then hit the media spotlight and produced a second album with my ****ty band that contained lyrics such as the corker 'I never said it was clever/I just like getting leathered.' I am nothing but a commercialised vagrant, yet I seem to think I am the height of English charm. In interviews I leave a 25 second pause between each sentence. Drugs are cool.

Who are you?

I'm Gary Glitt- naa, too easy.

Hello my name is Bono and I would like you to spend a few moments of your time to listen to the very serious problem of world debt in the third world and Africa. World debt equates to.... OI , LEAVE MY HAT ALONE YOU F*CKING BITCH OR I'LL HAVE A FLEET OF LAWYERS ON YOUR ARSE FASTER THAN A BUNCH OF FLIES AROUND SHIT

This interview does a lot to show Bono's mind-numbing prickness.

Some highlights:

'We were offered $23 million for just the music to 'Where the Streets Have No Name.' We thought we could do a lot of good with that money. Give it away. But if a show is a little off, and there's a hole, that's the one song we can guarantee that God will walk through the room as soon as we play it.'


"Because songs demand to be heard. 'Vertigo,' which you didn't like, is deceptively simple. That riff, you can think, 'Aw yeah, another rock song.' It doesn't become great the first time you hear it. It becomes great the thousandth time you hear it. And that's true of a lot of rock riffs. So we have to get the density of exposure for that to be a hit."


"There's nothing in U2's catalog that sounds remotely like 'Vertigo.' It's completely fresh. 'Vertigo' is actually quite a gem, contrary to what you say, and it's very new."

thread over

Despite that I think the little bitch got a helluva lotta soul and even moreso a helluva sett'ah pipes...

Hello I'm Amy Winehouse. I sing about self-destruction because it's supposedly rather different from the other **** you hear on pop stations. To back it up I let people film me hitting the rock and they put it on youtube so I can gain more off-label fame. I'm cool because my husband has two last names and is incarcerated for drug-posession. Yet I left the courthouse on the arm of Prick Number One, Pete Doherty. I do my hair in a beehive because no one else does it and it's cool, it doesn't look ridiculous at all. I walk around the streets of London coked out my nut in just my bra and jeans so the Pap can snap a few for the tabs. I have early stages of emphysema and it's cool 'cuz I'm still two packs a day & drink like a fish (hit the bottle and go right to the rock). I have tattoos of 1950s pinups because it's cool to be bicurious. My last name has the word wine in it. It's funny because people call me Wino because it's cool to be a celebrity alcoholic.

Why does everyone always have all the hate on Kanye..yea he's kinda a bitch. But he's pretty legit.

^Bitch and legit kinda rhyme. Youse should converse about a song. :p:

I'm Nicky Wire.

The sole reason I'm famous is because I'm such a publicity addicted c*nt who has nothing positive to say about anyone and because I play bass (very poorly) for Manic Street Preachers, though I'm now also the lyricist for the band since Edwards disappeared, probably because me being such an obnoxious tool finally drove him to the point of insanity and so he chose to live a reclusive life in the wilderness, surviving on a steady diet of squirrels. I act like a huge big shot even though my band hasn't done anything remotely relevant since 1996, I don't even contribute much to my band other than the sh*tty lyrics, with which I pretend to be politically conscious, but just end up babbling like an incoherent idiot, because I am one. In reality I'm just a big attention whore, I really get off on insulting other musicians, preferably those that are more talented than me, so I have my hands full, I also like to dress in womens clothes to make a statement, and because I like imitating Kurt Cobain. I even have a solo career, which is so incredibly awful and most of the time I'm too wasted to even perform, because having no respect for your audience and profession is so cool now.

I'm the pure embodiment of the typical attention whore rock star with no talent to show for it, and for that I am the biggest prick in the universe.

Reading these quotes bring to mind a Lewis Black quote in which Lewis talks about the left side of the brain looking to the right side and saying: "It's dark in here...and we may die."

****!! someone beat me to it. I can't think of a more useless person in music than this winner. Well, maybe the Jonas Bros.

Kanye is in here cause his personality, you can't say he's useless. He a pretty sick lyricist and has produced some real good stuff.

I went through a 'mainstream american rap' day a few days back, and watched an interview with jay-z on the jonathon ross show. Hilarious and intelligent fella. But then I watched an interview with Kanye West and he seems to have a hard time saying anything of note at all... he just babbles on uselessly.

My name is Jimmy Page and I have just appeared at the Olympics because I embody everything that is Great about Britain. The world is now laughing at Britain once again.....did you know I ripped off a few tracks too? ;)

I have not encountered a song/album by the Manics that I didn't instantly hate. I do not understand how they managed to become famous...

Nicky's got some pretty damn fine basslines on The Holy Bible though, dickhead or not. Which he probably is.

and... George Bush hates black people. That comment alone puts him number one on the list of ignorant ****s, even higher than the 40% of douchebags just on this board alone.

I am Noel Gallagher.

I often compare myself to Keith Richards and John Lennon and start petty feuds with other bands to pass the time. I fight with my brother all the time and make our pissy arguments open to all and I can't restrain myself from insulting superior bands and musical acts. I brag about how many drugs I've taken and insinuate they have no damaging effects on me. I pretend that rock music is the only legitimate musical genre and I make fun of others' appearances even though it looks as if I got severely beaten with the ugly stick.

Prick enough?

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too brief.

I was thinking about starting a "How Much Of A D*ckhead Is Noel Gallagher?" thread but I was worried Urban would lock it.

On the contrare, I am Liam Gallagher.

I once embodied the spirit of youthful aggression, but after one very good debut I got way in over my head and believed that unless you were doing lines in the back of toilets and sporting ridiculous haircuts then you were boring. Unlike my brother, who can actually play an instrument, I do nothing apart from growl and strut around. And I'm not even very good at that anymore.

Because of my aforementioned lack of musical talent, when my brother does not allow me to provide vocals in our music, I have to sit around in the back bashing a tambourine like a caveman.

Oh, and also, my band has been in steady decline since our debut, yet I feel it appropriate to call the likes of Radiohead, who have done nothing but improve since they started out, 'boring.' I also called all of their fans ugly even though I wear big sunglasses all of the time to hide my shrew like eyes and distracting monobrow.

I also made it cool for a while for youngsters to pretend they were stupid, even if they weren't. I am clearly 'avin it.




(I'm even going to see them live, but I still think he's a prick.)

That comment was actually the reason I gave him the benefit of the doubt with for a long time.

Liam Gallagher was the one who saids he was Lennon reincarnated, not Noel.

They both were.

"I'm not like John Lennon, who thought he was the great Almighty. I just think I'm John Lennon."

I'm Kurt Cobain.

I had a good thing going before my wife killed me. Just joking... I shot myself. So I learned how to play guitar and write songs with the hopes of one day being recognized and appreciated only to realize when that day finally came I hated it. I loved humans but I hated people... I loved being a father but hated the idea of being there for my child as she grew up. I was responsible for the success of my band... the other two tried to write a song with me but it was annoying. I loved music but I hated what music has become... I was just one big miserable prick and wasted my talent on the hopes of becoming a legend. Now when I hover over the radio and hear my music come on it's stale and old sounding, I wish I would have stuck around to record 5 more albums... then, at least, the rotation of my music wouldn't get so boring. Anyway, I hated myself and I wanted to die... **** off.

-Kurdt

p.s. if you happen to run into Mr. Grohl, punch him for me.

Im Pete Wentz

Just bloody shoot me for the good of music.

Agreed about the Gallagher brothers. I think Liam is an awful frontman he has a pretty good voice but zero stage persence he just stands there with his hands behind his back and leans toward the mic to sing, I mean cmon man do something. And I think he is a bigger prick than Liam all way around. Some of the things that come out of his mouth like 'we're the greatest band ever' but Noel has his fair share too I remember him saying something about Thom Yorke for some reason both have something against Radiohead but it was something like 'you can get as experimental and artsy as you want but at the end of the day all people wanna hear is 'creep', get over it.'

They have the football fan attitude, none of my friends would listen to Radiohead because they don't understand emotion in music beyond singing it drunkenly in pubs whilst linking arms.

They can't do that with Paranoid Android, so therefore "Radiohead are ****".

AMEN!!! Best post everrrrr!!!

paris hilton, but man i wouldnt want to hear her sing even if she can play the guitar.

Heh. Have you ever heard any of her songs? They're everything you imagine they'd be.

hey me too, someone do a thread on me.

Only if you do me first, handsome.

Hi I'm Rivers Cuomo

i used to make good music that people actually cared to listen to and then i got famous and said "**** it i can coast on mainstream pop garbage for the rest of my career" so my band came out with "beverly hills" then we i came out with a ****ty solo album so people would think i was still "indie rock" which they might have if it didnt have a ****ing ice cube cover on it

then of course weezer made the pork and beans video so we could cover the fact thats its one of our worst songs by throwing a bunch of random youtube phenoms into it

i married an asian just so my band would appeal on the other side of the world

i used to have horn rimmed glasses and a bowl cut with solid color tees but now im all plaid and mustached so i can be as much against fashion as possible

i contributed to a movie about alternative religion in a prison just so convicts and buddhists would like my music

im so self concius that i got surgery so my legs would be the same length

in summary everything that ive done in my life has just been to aqquire more fame because im a prick

Heh. Rivers Cuomo is definitely one of the biggest pricks out there. I've hated him for as long as Weezer have been around.

Now you're just being ****ing ridiculous.

Anyone who's ever listened to some of the lyrics from The Blue Album and Pinkerton knows Cuomo has some kind of weird asian chick fetish.

The guy had a birth condition where one of his legs was shorter than the other. Jeez, what a prick.

God damn you half Japanese girls, you do it to me every time ;)

haha...ha...ha... are you sure...