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Urban Hat€monger ? 06-15-2007 08:13 AM

Various Musicians Slaughter Classic Albums
 
Sgt Pepper must die!

Ever get the feeling you've been cheated? It's meant to be a classic album, but all you can hear is a load of boring tripe ... we've all felt that way. And so have the musicians we asked to
nominate the supposedly great records they'd gladly never hear again

Interviews by Paul Lester
Friday June 15, 2007
The Guardian

Tupac Shakur All Eyez On Me
Nominated by Mark Ronson, producer


This was Tupac's biggest record, and is seen by rap fans as the greatest latterday hip-hop album. But I've never got the cult of Tupac. Sure, he was in a lot of pain but he never said anything particularly clever - Notorious B.I.G. was far superior. People really related to the emotion in his voice, but it didn't resonate with me. No one would doubt Tupac's "realness" - he was shot nine times, for God's sake, and he began recording this album hours after being released from prison - but it doesn't compare to Biggie. Dr Dre produced it, and I didn't rate his production, either.

Problem was, Tupac was so prolific. He would write 50 songs in a weekend. Maybe he knew he was going to die, so he recorded relentlessly. I bought it at the time because it had one song on it that I'd play in clubs, but one out of 20 isn't great. In fact, there are 27 tracks on it - it started the trend of putting loads of songs on rap albums. Tupac wasn't up there with Dylan - Dylan was a brilliant poet. Eminem is probably the Dylan of rap, whereas Tupac just sounded like he was whining.

Nirvana, Nevermind
Nominated by Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips


It's better to be overrated than underrated. Besides, it's not the musicians' fault Nevermind is overrated - it's the public's, or the critics'. But you don't find yourself ever longing to listen to it, because there were - still are, in fact - so many mediocre bands that sound like it, that you're constantly experiencing it. I never get out Nevermind and think: what great production, what great songs. Nevermind had a poisonous, pernicious influence. It legitimised suffering. The sainthood of Kurt Cobain overshadows the album: Kurt's lyrics, his attitudinising and navel-gazing, were hard to separate from the band's image. You can never just hear the record. For me, Bleach and In Utero are superior. Even the album cover seems cheap: that stupid dollar bill just seems to have been airbrushed in there. If Alice in Chains had done it, we'd have thought it was a joke, but because it was Nirvana we thought it was oh-so-clever. If you think you're going to hear an utterly original, powerful and freaky record when you put on Nevermind, as a young kid might, Christ you're going to be disappointed. You're going to think, "Who is this band that sounds just like Nickelback? What are these drug addicts going on about?"

The Beach Boys, Pet Sounds
Nominated by Luke Pritchard of the Kooks


Of all the albums that get written about as "classics", this one least deserves it. Having said that, it contains one of the greatest songs ever written: God Only Knows, which is melancholic yet uplifting, pure yet f**ked-up. But the rest of the record is a total let-down - I felt that way from the very first listen. Pet Sounds is a million miles away from Sgt Pepper or Dark Side of the Moon. I do appreciate the lyrics, and I know it's an album about getting older, but as a concept album, it doesn't quite add up. Good tunes, yes - Wouldn't It Be Nice is a great pop song - but most of the other tracks just don't resonate for me. I apologise unreservedly to everyone who loves every word and note, every last crackle, on this album, but that's how it is. Oh, and it's got the worst sleeve of any major album, ever. Feeding time at the zoo? I don't think so.

The Stone Roses, The Stone Roses
Nominated by Eddie Argos of Art Brut


They're totally overrated. Plus they covered Scarborough Fair. I don't understand why people still play their music in nightclubs - it makes me really angry. When I'm drunk in a club I usually end up arguing with the DJ who's playing them. The Stone Roses were an awful, awful band. They were uncharismatic, their lyrics are nonsensical and their music is dreary. Also, we have them to thank for Oasis, although at least Noel Gallagher is funny and Liam is a bit of a pop star. The Roses make me think of kids older than me swaggering around with bowl haircuts and affecting Manchester accents. It makes my skin crawl. And all their fans are so smug: "Oh, you don't understand it." I do understand it! It's ridiculous that it regularly gets voted in at the top of those "greatest British album ever" polls. They spawned a new thug-boy pop culture.

The Strokes, Is This It
Nominated by Ian Williams of Battles


The Strokes were just rich kids from uptown New York; the children of the heads of supermodel agencies who formed a rock band and thought they deserved respect because of that. Suddenly the downtown, older form of punk rock got co-opted by the system. If ever there was a point where Gucci and rebellion were married together, it was right there. The Strokes have, basically, been responsible for five or six years of a new form of hair metal, in the guise of something more tasteful. Their music is post-9/11 party music because it came out that week and everybody wanted to dance. They're seen as the rebirth of rock in the UK - but it's a very conservative, old-fashioned idea of rock for the 21st century. As for their punk credentials, I'm not going to say anyone's more authentic than anyone else ... But the Strokes are the new Duran Duran; the new decadence for the new millennium.

Television, Marquee Moon
Nominated by Alex Kapranos of Franz Ferdinand


People expect us to love Television the way they think we love Gang of Four and were influenced by them - but we don't and we weren't! Marquee Moon is one of those records that I thought I loved, but it was only after a few years I realised I didn't love the album, just the first 10 bars of the title track, which are pretty astonishing. Those guitars that play off each other and the way the instruments go into wonderful places and the guitars are totally insane and that big cascade of drums - it's incredible. Then your attention wanders. You know when a boring guy is explaining to you the technical spec of a car, the fuel injection system and the leather seats, and his voice becomes so much background noise? Once I took the needle off this record, I realised I hadn't heard it at all. But what annoys me is the way people pontificate over the album; it's one of those staples of student halls of residence. People wax lyrical about it, but the reason it's so popular is because it's a prog rock album its okay to like. Because the words "punk" and "New York" and "1977" are associated with it, it's deemed cool. Really, though, they're a band who give guys who like 20-minute guitar solos an excuse. They were the Grateful Dead of punk, and I always hated all that jam-band stuff. They have the ethos of a jam-band but the aesthetic of a New York outfit. If anything, the Strokes took the look of Television, the aesthetic - and the Converse sneakers - and ignored the jam-band aspect. They took those first 10 bars of Marquee Moon and did something great with it! Tom Verlaine's lyrics didn't have much impact on me. I'm always uneasy when singers in bands profess to be poets - they can veer into pomposity and pretentiousness. But I've got to be careful: I once said something about Jim Morrison and the Doors, about their pseudo-poetry, and immediately all these articles on the internet appeared saying, "Kapranos slams Morrison!" I'm not slamming Television - I respect them. But Marquee Moon is an album I admire more than enjoy.

Urban Hat€monger ? 06-15-2007 08:14 AM


The Beatles, Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Nominated by Billy Childish, prime mover of British garage rock


I was a big Beatles fan - I had a Beatles wig and Beatles guitar when I was four - so I know what I'm talking about, but Sgt Pepper signalled the death of rock'n'roll. Rock'n'roll is meant to be full of vitality and energy, and this album isn't. It sounds like it took six months to sh*t out. The Beatles were the victims of their success. This is middle-of-the-road rock music for plumbers. Or people who drive round in Citroens - the sort of corporate hippies who ruined rock music. I bought it the day it came out: it was ideal for a seven-year-old. These days, well, it's my contention that it represents the death of the Beatles as a rock'n'roll band and the birth of them as music hall, which is hardly a victory. The main problem with Sgt Pepper is Sir Paul's maudlin obsession with his own self-importance and dickensian misery. (Paul McCartney is the dark one in the Beatles, not John Lennon, because he writes such depressing, scary music.) It's like a Sunday before school that goes on forever. It's too dark and twisted for anyone with any light in their life. Then again, when he tries to be upbeat, it rings false - like having a clown in the room. The best thing about the album was the cardboard insert with some medals, a badge and a moustache. But the military jackets they wore on the front made them look like a bunch of grammar-school boys dressed by their mummy. When I was in Thee Mighty Caesars we did a rip-off of the sleeve for an album called John Lennon's Corpse Revisited, featuring the Beatles' heads on stakes. This isn't the greatest album ever made; in fact, it's the worst Beatles album up to that point. Live at the Star Club trounces it with ease.

Abba, Arrival
Nominated by Siobhan Donaghy, former Sugababe turned solo artist


I love the Beatles, the Beach Boys, Burt Bacharach, all those great pop melody-writers, but there's something about Abba that I hate. Maybe it's going to parties with sh*t DJs for most of my childhood that has made me hate them. Abba were forced on people from my generation, so there's a natural resentment towards them. Through my mum I discovered Pink Floyd and Jimi Hendrix, and if I'd done that with Abba maybe I'd have appreciated their brilliant pop songs. On Arrival, the particularly annoying songs are Dancing Queen, Knowing, Me Knowing You and Money, Money, Money. And if we're talking about the reissue, you can add Fernando. Nick Hornby may well say they're part of the canon now, but I still don't have to listen to them. Yes, they wrote some of the catchiest melodies of all time. But then, The Birdie Song is catchy, too.

Arcade Fire The Neon Bible
Nominated by Green Gartside of Scritti Politti


People who enjoy this album may think I'm cloth-eared and unperceptive, and I accept it's the result of my personal shortcomings, but what I hear in Arcade Fire is an agglomeration of mannerisms, cliches and devices. I find it solidly unattractive, texturally nasty, a bit harmonically and melodically dull, bombastic and melodramatic, and the rhythms are pedestrian. It's monotonous in its textures and in the old-fashioned, nasty, clunky 80s rhythms and eighth-note basslines. It isn't, as people are suggesting, richly rewarding and inventive. The melodies stick too closely to the chord changes. Win Butler's voice uses certain stylistic devices - it goes wobbly and shouty, then whispery - and I guess people like wobbly and shouty going to whispery, they think it signifies real feeling. It's some people's idea of unmediated emotion. I can imagine Jeremy Clarkson liking it; it's for people in cars. It's rather flat and unlovely. The album and the response to it represent a bunch of beliefs about expression and truth that I don't share. The battle against unreconstructed rock music continues.

Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon
Nominated by Tjinder Singh of Cornershop


This album is a sort of lab experiment, put together by scarf-wearing university types. There's a certain irony in a song like Money that takes pot-shots at greedy corporations, when this album made so much money. There's also irony in these super-wealthy elite prog musicians positing themselves against The Man, having a go at the machine. The light shows, all the technology and white-coated technicians at their disposal, make them very much part of the machine. I appreciated the early stuff Pink Floyd did with Joe Boyd, but this is a bloated concept album that made punk necessary. It says, "What a crazy world it is!" and "Everyone's demented!" It's meant to be imbued with the spirit of Syd Barrett, God rest his soul. I'm amazed that it's up there in the pantheon, because I can't see any virtue in it whatsoever. Lyrically, it's banal and doesn't say anything beyond "greed is bad". Radiohead are the 21st-century Floyd, which says it all really.

The Doors LA Woman
Nominated by Craig Finn of the Hold Steady


In America when you're growing up, you're subjected to the Doors as soon as you start going to parties and smoking weed. People think of Jim Morrison as a brilliant rock'n'roll poet, but to me it's unlistenable. The music meanders, and Morrison was more like a drunk ******* than an intelligent poet. The worst of the worst is the last song, Riders on the Storm: "There's a killer on the road/ His brain is squirming like a toad" - that's surely the worst line in rock'n'roll history. He gave the green light to generations of pseuds. A lot of people told him he was a genius, so he started to believe it. The Velvets did nihilism and darkness so much better - they were so much more understated; what they did had subtlety, whereas the Doors had little or none: they were a caricature of "the dark side". I actually like Los Angeles, but the Doors represent the city at its most fat, bloated and excessive. Morrison's death does give rock some mythic kudos, but that doesn't make me want to listen to the music. In fact, if it comes on the radio, I change the station.

The Smiths Meat Is Murder
Nominated by Jackie McKeown of 1990s


I'm a Smiths fan and I like most of their records, but this is the weakest link in the canon. With the debut and The Queen Is Dead, you could cut up Morrissey's lyrics and they could be pages from the same book. For Meat Is Murder, he seemed to make a list of topics to write about. It was a protest album, which defeats the idea of Morrissey as romantic. The cool-guy cover with Meat Is Murder written on his helmet rams it down your throat. The title track is offensive, not least because of the loud, gated drums and 80s production that you get on Huey Lewis and the News records. Morrissey was obviously suffering from a loss of nerve or lack of faith when he wrote these songs. It took him years to write the first album in his bedroom. By the second album, he started panicking and pointing fingers at teachers at school and thinking up things like, "Oh, meat is murder and, oh, we're going to get attacked by thugs in Rusholme." Barbarism Begins at Home is where the Smiths betray their jazz-funk session-guy roots; it's absolutely treacherous to listen to, even if it was brilliant fun to record. You can just see the rolled-up jacket sleeves. It's everything Morrissey hated. Meat Is Murder is Red Wedge music for sexless students. It's like being stuck in a lift with a Manchester University Socialist Workers' Party convention.

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band Trout Mask Replica
Nominated by Peter Hook, ex-New Order and Joy Division


Steve Morris, New Order's drummer, was a great fan of his, but Beefheart was one of those things I found unlistenably boring. I desperately wanted to like it because Steve loved it so much, but I had to admit defeat. Ian Curtis found it easier to convert us to the Doors, put it that way. Trout Mask wasn't a work of untutored genius, it was untutored crap. When you're beginning as a musician, people try to educate you with music like this, but I never understood the allure of Captain Beefheart. I certainly didn't last all four sides. There are very few records I gave up on, apart from Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music and Trout Mask Replica. It sounded like somebody taking the p*ss. But then, I've never been a great fan of jazz, and this erred on the selfish side of jazz. It sounds like you feel when you've taken the wrong drugs, like going to your mate's dope party on speed. I'd listen to it with my head in my hands. Trout Mask was highly regarded by post-punk bands because of its idiosyncratic approach to rhythm and song construction - but those bands were full of sh*t, weren't they? I wouldn't have put it at the front of my record pile to impress people; it would have been at the back with my Alvin Stardust and Bay City Rollers records that they sent me from the record club I belonged to at the time. These days, I would rather listen to the Bay City Rollers than Beefheart.

Urban Hat€monger ? 06-15-2007 08:14 AM


What kind of heathen dislikes the Velvet Underground and Nico?
Novelist and music lover Ian Rankin gives his reasons


This is a sacred cow but that doesn't mean it can't be turned into hamburger. You can start before you even listen to the music. The front of the album bears the name Andy Warhol and a yellow banana - there's no mention of the band whatsoever. The back of the album says it was produced by Andy Warhol alongside the Velvets, so straight away I'm annoyed. It's one of the worst-produced albums of all time - put it on a modern hi-fi and you'll think: this sounds like sh*t. It's muddy, the volume comes and goes, the guitars are all out of tune, as is the viola. John Cale is one of the great Welshmen, but the viola on Venus In Furs sounds like a Tom and Jerry sound effect. And Nico's voice is flat throughout - she sings English the way I sing German. Talk about looks being everything: she was a supermodel trying to sing in a rock band, but she couldn't sing - she gave good dirge.

It all flags up that the Velvet Underground were just part of Warhol's circus, his Factory; just another product. Once you start thinking about the Velvets being part of that, the notion of them waiting around for the man is ludicrous. As far as introducing the idea of nihilism to rock, the first Doors album, which came out the same year, was far better produced, far darker, and more nihilistic. Ditto the first Mothers of Invention album. Those two were from the west coast; the Velvets were from New York. And this was New York trying too hard. There's a line in Venus in Furs about "ermine furs adorn imperious". Those are four words that should never appear in a rock song and here they are put together. And the last two tracks are completely unlistenable: The Black Angel's Death Song and European Son, which constitute 11 minutes and one fifth of the album.

Nevertheless, as Brian Eno said, almost no one bought this album but the ones who did put a band together, so it was important - as the beginning of the black raincoat brigade.




Feel free to add your own , but don't bother if you are going to say 'they suck'

chumb 06-15-2007 09:08 AM

Did that guy from Franz Ferdinand say The Strokes were better than Television o.O

And how is Freak Out! nihilistic? Zappa was always far from nihilism.. and I could see how one might make the argument that The Doors s/t is more nihilistic than VU... if you're in the habit of skipping the last two tracks. I mean, they basically invented noise rock there. Half of these reviewers are just trying too hard to be controversial and come off just sounding pretentious.

jackhammer 06-15-2007 01:20 PM

I don't think they are coming over at all pretentious. Why do people get upset if a classic get's knocked? It's all personal opinion.

My favourite band are mentioned PINK FLOYD, but I'm not aggreived at all. Does'nt make any difference whatsoever to me listening to them.

I concur about PET SOUNDS!

sleepy jack 06-15-2007 01:26 PM

I always thought Funeral was the classic one not Neon Bible...

chumb 06-15-2007 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackhammer (Post 374257)
I don't think they are coming over at all pretentious. Why do people get upset if a classic get's knocked? It's all personal opinion.

My favourite band are mentioned PINK FLOYD, but I'm not aggreived at all. Does'nt make any difference whatsoever to me listening to them.

I concur about PET SOUNDS!

I'm hardly upset, but saying something like :

"Trout Mask was highly regarded by post-punk bands because of its idiosyncratic approach to rhythm and song construction - but those bands were full of sh*t, weren't they?"

seems very pretentious to me, because he's basically saying that he knows better than all the other musicians who hold that record in such high regard. I'm all for expressing personal opinion, but when you say that a record isn't "a work of untutored genius, it was untutored crap" that strikes me as elitist and condescending. There are plenty of classic records that don't appeal to me, but I can still understand their significance and I don't go around saying they're crap.

btw, when I saw "Various Musicians Slaughter..." I thought this was going to be about that compilation of bands covering John Lennon songs... I heard the Green Day version of "Working Class Hero" and it almost made me cry...

boo boo 06-15-2007 02:25 PM

I have nothing but respect for the Flaming Lips, but I disagree strongly with his article on Nevermind, the "sounds just like Nickelback" line is particularly laughable. And I have little tollerance for mediocre no name artists like Billy Childish, The Kooks, Cornershop and The Hold Steady knocking down my favorites. What they do is insignificant enough as it is. And Franz Ferdinand are horrible, they have no right to criticize anybody. The only one I really agree with is Arrival.

Chump is right, all of these are really pretentious. They're essentially pulling a pitchfork. "Lets say stuff to piss off classic rock fans regardless of how retarded it makes us look".

Now if they had someone tear Turn On The Bright Lights, Moon & Antarctica or Pink Moon apart, I would have something positive to say.

Urban Hat€monger ? 06-15-2007 03:03 PM

I'd hardly call it classic rock baiting , from what I can see there is music from all era's.

I don't know why people are getting so upset about it , they're just expressing an opinion like people here do. I can see exactly why Peter Hook hates most post punk bands . most of them ripped off his band at some point.

And Boo Boo , That 'no name artist Billy Childish' was a huge influence on your beloved White Stripes to the point where they threatened to walk out of a TV appearence because he wasn't allowed to join them on stage.
Just thought i'd point that out :)

boo boo 06-15-2007 03:07 PM

And The Bay City Rollers influenced Nirvana, that dosen't mean I have to like them.

But overall those articles are very amatuerish, and they seem to be by people who don't know much about music. And since almost all of these "musicians" are in Indie/Garage rock bands that are obscure for a reason, I'm very confident that my assumption is correct.

The whole Hippies destroyed rock n roll line is pretty lame. It's sad that it has become a general perception that if music changes, it is being ruined. So now a bunch of un-original garage/indie bands who ripped off one band and now think they are high and mighty enough to be rock critics get all the praise.

Billy Childish is a moron, "Sgt Peppers destroyed rock n roll". Well, GOOD, Rock N Roll is vain juvenile crap any way you look at it, prog rock needed to happen because it reminded people that music can be different, and not just appeal to 16 year old retards who think music should be danced to and not listened to, that it shouldn't go any deeper than songs about puppy love and f*cking. Childish (appropiate last name btw) is the kind of elitist jackass I dispise. The Beatles did something different, so they are an embarrassment to a genre of music best known for non-sensical boogie songs with suggestive lyrics about g@y butt sex? Pfft.

Urban Hat€monger ? 06-15-2007 03:26 PM

You managed to deduce all that from someone just because their least favourite Beatles album is Sgt Pepper?

Wow thats impressive

sleepy jack 06-15-2007 03:41 PM

"Eminem is probably the Dylan of rap, whereas Tupac just sounded like he was whining."

What the fuck seriously, Eminems music is basically all him bitching about how his mom mistreated him, writing annoying songs about his daughter and killing his wife. Hes way more whiny than Tupac.

Sparky 06-15-2007 03:52 PM

tupac lyrics
Quote:

She was born a heavy set girl with pigtails and curls
A heart full of gold still it won't change the world
Though, she could never understand why,
some underhanded plans, witness a man die,
Was only 15, shoulda been a beauty queen, still
See her crying by the caskets when her parents got killed
eminem lyrics
Quote:

The way you shake it, I can't believe it
I ain't never seen an ass like that
The way you move it, you make my pee pee go
Doing, doing, doing
:-/

sleepy jack 06-15-2007 04:18 PM

Yeah thats the new Dylan right there!

boo boo 06-15-2007 04:18 PM

That pretty much summerizes everything wrong with this thread.

But when I noticed that Urban made it, I was expecting to be annoyed. :laughing:

right-track 06-15-2007 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urban Hatemonger (Post 374207)

The Stone Roses, The Stone Roses
Nominated by Eddie Argos of Art Brut


They're totally overrated. Plus they covered Scarborough Fair. I don't understand why people still play their music in nightclubs - it makes me really angry. When I'm drunk in a club I usually end up arguing with the DJ who's playing them. The Stone Roses were an awful, awful band. They were uncharismatic, their lyrics are nonsensical and their music is dreary. Also, we have them to thank for Oasis, although at least Noel Gallagher is funny and Liam is a bit of a pop star. The Roses make me think of kids older than me swaggering around with bowl haircuts and affecting Manchester accents. It makes my skin crawl. And all their fans are so smug: "Oh, you don't understand it." I do understand it! It's ridiculous that it regularly gets voted in at the top of those "greatest British album ever" polls. They spawned a new thug-boy pop culture.

This one made me laugh.

Eddie Argos?
Art who?

Urban Hat€monger ? 06-15-2007 05:45 PM

So is anyone going to write one of their own or do I have to pick on Led Zeppelin myself :D

jackhammer 06-15-2007 05:54 PM

I will write one of my own..tomorrow. I am slightly inebriated at the moment, so my review would not be an accurate report!

sleepy jack 06-15-2007 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urban Hatemonger (Post 374362)
So is anyone going to write one of their own or do I have to pick on Led Zeppelin myself :D

DONT STEAL MY THING!

/goes to

boo boo 06-15-2007 06:01 PM

*Waits to tear Urban and Ethans posts apart*

I'm thinking of doing Pink Moon.

sleepy jack 06-15-2007 06:02 PM

With what?

LOLZ DEY PROG CLALAISISICROCK TEH BEST U LISTNE TO MODEST MOUSE DUR DUR DUR INDIE SUX LOL

Urban Hat€monger ? 06-15-2007 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boo boo (Post 374370)
*Waits to tear Urban and Ethans posts apart*

Well as long as it's done properly without using half truths & assumptions like you usually do.
And i'd just like to point out I put a Led Zep album in the Urban 100 ,so please don't accuse me of being biased against them.
Ta

sleepy jack 06-15-2007 06:23 PM

Led Zeppelin "Led Zeppelin IV"

I understand why its a classic and all because its got annoying radio anthems like Rock and Roll coupled with such terrible lyrical subjects like the Battle of Evermore and Going to California (lol@ him not getting laid) but how anyone can stand Plants annoying wailing and Page's stolen riffs in addition to the sheer annoyingness of songs like Misty Mountain Hop is beyond me. Thank you for wasting 40 minutes of my time Zeppelin.

boo boo 06-15-2007 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urban Hatemonger (Post 374381)
Well as long as it's done properly without using half truths & assumptions like you usually do.
And i'd just like to point out I put a Led Zep album in the Urban 100 ,so please don't accuse me of being biased against them.
Ta

Yeah, their weakest album after ITTOD and Coda I may add.

Expletive Deleted 06-15-2007 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urban Hatemonger (Post 374207)
Eminem is probably the Dylan of rap, whereas Tupac just sounded like he was whining.

I agreed with everything Ronson said up until this point. Eminem, WTF?

Quote:

The Beach Boys, Pet Sounds
Nominated by Luke Pritchard of the Kooks

This basically told me everything I needed to know. Some shitty British Indie band that no one will even remember in 4 years shitting all over an album that's been a classic for 40 years.


Quote:


The Strokes, Is This It
Nominated by Ian Williams of Battles

I like Is This It? a lot, but is it even really a classic to anyone other than NME readers or something? Battles dude is right about all their personal history, but who really cares? This is a pretty fun garage rock album that didn't really change anyone's life, and that's that. Also, I'm pretty sure most of the people who do love this album won't really care that they're a bunch of rich kids or that Casablancas is an asshole or whatever.

Quote:

Television, Marquee Moon
Nominated by Alex Kapranos of Franz Ferdinand

They have the ethos of a jam-band but the aesthetic of a New York outfit. If anything, the Strokes took the look of Television, the aesthetic - and the Converse sneakers - and ignored the jam-band aspect. They took those first 10 bars of Marquee Moon and did something great with it!
I like Franz Ferdinand's first album a bunch too, but fuck this guy. The Strokes, for real? The Strokes are basically a gigantic VU/Television hybrid, and all they're doing is aping them, not making it better or whatever Kapranos thinks. Seriously, I'm not even sure what he's thinking right here.

Quote:

Arcade Fire The Neon Bible
Nominated by Green Gartside of Scritti Politti
Speaking of non-classics, this? Funeral isn't even a fucking classic, but now apparently this is? I agree with most of this assessment anyway. I tend to sort of flip-flop on their first album, sometimes I like it a lot, sometimes I hate it, but Neon Bible sucked with the exception of like, two songs. Also, people are always saying how much "Indie fans" or whoever love this band, but the only person I know who loves them only loves them out of some weird sense of hometown pride, but aren't only two of these guys from Montreal anyway?

So the Arcade Fire don't even deserve to be written about is what I'm trying to say.

Quote:

The Doors LA Woman
Nominated by Craig Finn of the Hold Steady
The Hold Steady really annoyed the shit out of me until I saw them live. They were really fun, and I don't really care about the Doors, so that's all I'm really going to say.

Well, I guess I should probably point out that he's totally right about Doors and parties and shit, they're pretty much the pivotal "I'm a teenager and I think I have good taste in music because I like a really classic band" band.

Quote:

The Smiths Meat Is Murder
Nominated by Jackie McKeown of 1990s
I agree that this is their worst album, but who really cares what the guy from the 1990s thinks?

boo boo 06-15-2007 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill (Post 374387)
Led Zeppelin "Led Zeppelin IV"

I understand why its a classic and all because its got annoying radio anthems like Rock and Roll coupled with such terrible lyrical subjects like the Battle of Evermore and Going to California (lol@ him not getting laid) but how anyone can stand Plants annoying wailing and Page's stolen riffs in addition to the sheer annoyingness of songs like Misty Mountain Hop is beyond me. Thank you for wasting 40 minutes of my time Zeppelin.

What an insightful review, must have took you a whole minute.

Page didn't steal riffs either, all they really stole were lyrics, and wouldn't you know it, LYRICS ARE THEIR ****ING WEAKPOINT.

You know nothing about this band, it's not that you dislike them as much as you are completely ingorant of everything about them.

Expletive Deleted 06-15-2007 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boo boo (Post 374401)
You know nothing about this band, it's not that you dislike them as much as you are completely ingorant of everything about them.

Oh calm down, boo boo, all he did was follow the lead of most of those articles. ;)

sleepy jack 06-15-2007 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boo boo (Post 374401)
What an insightful review, must have took you a whole minute.

Page didn't steal riffs either, all they really stole were lyrics, and wouldn't you know it, LYRICS ARE THEIR ****ING WEAKPOINT.

You know nothing about this band, it's not that you dislike them as much as you are completely ingorant of everything about them.

ignorant*

I'm sorry, next time instead of saying what I think on the album i'll say what I think about them as a band, because thats more important in music right?

boo boo 06-15-2007 07:23 PM

No, he followed the lead of 7 year olds on amazon.com who make comments like "OMFG Citizen Kane is a horrible movie, where are the boobs and explosions?"

sleepy jack 06-15-2007 07:24 PM

Modest Mouse>Citizen Kane

boo boo 06-15-2007 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill (Post 374404)
ignorant*

I'm sorry, next time instead of saying what I think on the album i'll say what I think about them as a band, because thats more important in music right?

Thats my point, you didn't even critique the f*cking album. You just threw around your average insults and vague/incorrect generalisations about Zep.

boo boo 06-15-2007 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill (Post 374406)
Modest Mouse>Citizen Kane

The sound of Modest Mouse is essentially this. Take one formula, one format for a really really really really really really REALLY annoying song, and make it EVERY song.

All Modest Mouse songs have the same exact format. A military style drum beat, a two note bassline, a one/two chord guitar riff with an annoying Nursery rhyme melody and a tone like a cell phone, a mellotron that sounds like a beaten up Accordion made from junk and played by a 2 year old with cerebral palsy and of course the vocals, which can best be described as a Captain Beefheart robot that can sing only one note, and sings in the exact same key in every song, following the rhythm yet still sounding disgustingly off key and off time. And the robot always malfunctions, has a lisp, and comes off sounding like Daffy Duck doing a very poor Moose impersonation.

Add in some half assed, pretentious semi-nihilistic bullsh*t lyrics and ta da. Modest Mouse.

sleepy jack 06-15-2007 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boo boo (Post 374407)
Thats my point, you didn't even critique the f*cking album. You just threw around your average insults and vague/incorrect generalisations about Zep.

generalizations*

Weren't you just getting on me about not knowing anything about the band and that was the problem? Now its I didn't critique every individual track? I'm sorry but critiquing every track is kind of a boring review especially when I have similar thoughts on them all which usually involves plant sounding fucking annoying or the music being your typical classic cock rock anthem or just some annoying acoustic driven song like Going to California.

sleepy jack 06-15-2007 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boo boo (Post 374409)
The sound of Modest Mouse is essentially this. Take one formula, one format for a really really really really really really REALLY annoying song, and make it EVERY song.

All Modest Mouse songs have the same exact format. A military style drum beat, a two note bassline, a one/two chord guitar riff with an annoying Nursery rhyme melody and a tone like a cell phone, a mellotron that sounds like a beaten up Accordion made from junk and played by a 2 year old with cerebral palsy and of course the vocals, which can best be described as a Captain Beefheart robot that can sing only one note, and sings in the exact same key in every song, following the rhythm yet still sounding disgustingly off key and off time. And the robot always malfunctions, has a lisp, and comes off sounding like Daffy Duck doing a very poor Moose impersonation.

Add in some half assed, pretentious semi-nihilistic bullsh*t lyrics and ta da. Modest Mouse.

You didn't even critique the f*cking band. You just threw around your average insults and vague/incorrect generalisations about MM.

boo boo 06-15-2007 07:33 PM

At least Plant can goddamn f*cking sing. As opposed to Mr. Issac sounds like a Moose taking it in the ass with a mouthfull of crackers Brock.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill (Post 374411)
You didn't even critique the f*cking band. You just threw around your average insults and vague/incorrect generalisations about MM.

See? You can't even do a f*cking rebuttal either. You take a post and change a word like you always do. Very clever.

Retard.

sleepy jack 06-15-2007 07:34 PM

Plant can sing? That annoying wailing is considered singing?

Quote:

Originally Posted by boo boo (Post 374412)
See? You can't even do a f*cking rebuttal either. You take a post and change a word like you always do. Very clever.

Retard.

I don't see the point, you're wrong. In order to judge what every MM song sounds like you'd have to have heard every one and you've only heard M&A and Good News. Sad Sappy Sucker alone would prove you're wrong.

boo boo 06-15-2007 07:38 PM

BLAH HOOCHY COOO LALALALALALAA MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PFFFFFFFFFFFFT CHUNKA HUNKA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SNAGGLEPUSS.

Look, I can sing like Brock. Worship me.

sleepy jack 06-15-2007 07:39 PM

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAWHOLE LOT OF LOVE LORD OF THE RINGS, I WORSHIP SATAN IN MY BASEMENT, FUCK SHARKS AND LITTLE GIRLS LOL IM PLANT WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

boo boo 06-15-2007 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill (Post 374415)
I don't see the point, you're wrong. In order to judge what every MM song sounds like you'd have to have heard every one and you've only heard M&A and Good News.

But they sound exactly the same. Only Good News takes the format to new annoying extremes. LCW isn't any better I'm sure, and I have heard some songs from it that are pretty horrible. Teeth Like Gods Shoeshine for one of the worst songs of the 90s.

boo boo 06-15-2007 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill (Post 374416)
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAWHOLE LOT OF LOVE LORD OF THE RINGS, I WORSHIP SATAN IN MY BASEMENT, FUCK SHARKS AND LITTLE GIRLS LOL IM PLANT WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

At least Plant isn't a rapist.


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