Frances

David Lee Roth:
It doesn't really matter if you like this guy or not, He says some pretty funny stuff! Here are some quotes and stuff.



From Rock Line 1986
Viewer Call In --"You put on such an incredible live show with Van Halen and solo and I was wondering because you are so visual how come you never have released a live video, and are you ever going to do so?"
Dave's Reply--- "Well it's Like my Pants.. Its hard to squeeze it all in!

"Do I ever get turned down by women? I never ask."

"We took these two little people with us on tour, Jimmy and Danny, as my bodyguards. They're probably 3 1/2, 4 1/2 feet tall. We had 'em in 'S.W.A.T." uniforms. If nothing else, I can wake up in Tunafish, Wyoming, nine in the morning, hung-over; even if I'm miserable, I can look out the door to the hallway and there goes a midget in a bath towel holding the hand of a girl he was with last night--and I know I'm in rock 'n' roll!"

"Hey, your girlfriend was partying with us backstage before the show, and she had a message for ya: 'mmfp mmf umf fmff mmm.'"

"I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money."

"Van Halen can keep providing the rain and I'll keep providing the parade."

"I used to jog but the ice-cubes kept falling out of my glass."

"I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle."

"People think I have this strange concept of women, but they're wrong. I'm a family-oriented kind of guy. I've personally started four or five this year already!"

"One of my friends took me to one of these all-you-can-eat salad bars recently. I passed out and it took 3 Snickers bars and a Coke to revive me."

"I don't get all the women that I want...I get all the women that want me!
"I was with a girl not terribly long ago and she said "Mr. Roth, I think you’re the oldest person I've ever been with." I said "Honey I was gonna say the same thing to you."


"Women are my hobby... every man needs something to keep his hands busy, and I don't have a guitar like Eddie and Michael, or some drums to bash like Alex, so I have to find some friends."

"I won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister!"

"We get to the hotel, there's people partyin' in the parking lot, people gettin' down in the elevator, wow! I swear to God I had this one chick, this chick was poundin' on my door, she was kickin' and screamin' at my door 'til about 6.30 this morning. Finally, I just said, "**** it! and let her out of my room"

"Nothing in here is worth dying for"- message on DLR's gate

"The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!"

"People ask me how far I've come. And I tell them 12 feet. From the audience to the stage!"

"Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it"

"We wouldn't lie to ya! We just met ya! Lyin's for LATER in the relationship..." "I only have two flavors baby, bubblegum and ****... and I'm all out of bubblegum."

"Hey, don't be throwin' no **** up on stage pal, cos I saw who threw that bottle and after the show... I'm gonna **** your girlfriend, yeah!"

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[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Yup.

littleknowitall

he was an incredible frontman....and now after reading those quotes i'm actually more so inclined to listen to some more of his stuff.

Merkaba

HAHAHA I like the "I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money"

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She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out i'm a reclusive wanker

Uno

BUMP! These are great!

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You made me like this.

touge_drift

hahah brilliant... we need more people like that no a days