Go outside barefoot in the winter and stand there for hours....

When you are going to paint,use a shorter ladder as its easier to carry.. Just use the tippy top step on the ladder!

:laughing: Great thread idea, mattrix! I have followed your advice about the ladder many times! Also:-

- when you want to hammer in a small nail, why bother holding it with a pair of pliers? It's much quicker to just use your fingers, which you can easily patch up after you have repeatedly bashed them with your hammer.

- In restaurants, waiters will be offended if you offer them a tip.

- All faucets deliver drinking water. The ones that say "Not Drinking Water" are just trying to scare people away so that not so much water gets used.

Buckets make good ladders so make sure to stack em high!!

Put toothpaste on your toast so you can brush your teeth and eat breakfast at the same time!

If you get stopped by the police while driving and are given a ticket, don't be courteous to the cop and save fighting the ticket for court. Yell, scream, tell the cop he/she is on the take and is wasting taxpayer money by not going after real criminals. The cop will respect you standing up for yourself! And if you are physically arrested, refuse to comply with being handcuffed: squirm, violently contort your body, and try to fight the cop. What could possibly go wrong? Fighting a charge in court is for sissies!

-The silica gel packets say not to eat to hide their secrets, gobble 'em up!!

-Trespass onto government property, your birthday surprise party is waiting!

-Sticking forks into electrical outlets is the only surefire way to astral project

-Cut off people at the first minor disagreement, you'll thank me later. You don't need that negative energy.

-Delete System 32 on your computer, it simply takes up too much space

LOL! And I would add with respect to the silica gel packets, they’re a rich source of vitamins and minerals!

When going through airport security screening, loudly joke about how they’ll never detect the bomb you’re smuggling onto the plane. TSA agents and airport personnel have hard jobs and will appreciate a good laugh!

Climb buildings and mountainside without any harnesses or protection, like a real man!!

Mattrixs deserves a lot of credit for coming up with this thread but i think it was tailor made for you, Tristan.:clap:



If you're driving through a sparsely poplulated area of the American southwest and you're getting low on gas (or your EV could use a charge), and you come upon a road sign that says "No Services Next 80 Miles", don't bother stopping for a fill up or charge before proceeding on that section of highway. Those signs were put there by greedy locals who don't want to share with people traveling through. Speed on ahead!

:laughing: thank u thank u

that's a pretty good one too, 'll put some hair on yer back!



For my next trick...




-The beware of dog sign is in front of houses is meant as a challenge. Chicken?

-Find out from locals what the most violent, sketchy part of town is, and then go there. Hold up your most expensive belonging and wait. What they don't want you to know is that this is how you become immortal.

-If you happen to have eaten mostly flavorless, bland food all your life, kick it up a notch! Go eat Jamaican curry. Ask for the hottest they have. Oh, and don't have anything to drink. You'll thank me later

drink stagnant water for magic powers

And if Jamaican curry isn't available, the hottest Thai red curry will also do the trick!

When traveling in a foreign country, be sure to make fun of the food, the natives' accents, the culture in general, and above all, stress how compared to your country, the one you're visiting is in the Stone Age. They'll appreciate your candor and sense of humor. My advice works especially well if you're an American.

:laughing:

Give everyone you see the middle finger and a big fat frown. What? No that doesn't mean what you think it means. Why would you ever think that? You must have imagine it.

That’s right. The middle finger is an international sign of greeting!

Go to McDonalds and ask for everything on the menu. It will help your credit score and also be really healthy to eat in one sitting