Go outside barefoot in the winter and stand there for hours....

When you are going to paint,use a shorter ladder as its easier to carry.. Just use the tippy top step on the ladder!

:laughing: Great thread idea, mattrix! I have followed your advice about the ladder many times! Also:-

- when you want to hammer in a small nail, why bother holding it with a pair of pliers? It's much quicker to just use your fingers, which you can easily patch up after you have repeatedly bashed them with your hammer.

- In restaurants, waiters will be offended if you offer them a tip.

- All faucets deliver drinking water. The ones that say "Not Drinking Water" are just trying to scare people away so that not so much water gets used.

Buckets make good ladders so make sure to stack em high!!

Put toothpaste on your toast so you can brush your teeth and eat breakfast at the same time!

If you get stopped by the police while driving and are given a ticket, don't be courteous to the cop and save fighting the ticket for court. Yell, scream, tell the cop he/she is on the take and is wasting taxpayer money by not going after real criminals. The cop will respect you standing up for yourself! And if you are physically arrested, refuse to comply with being handcuffed: squirm, violently contort your body, and try to fight the cop. What could possibly go wrong? Fighting a charge in court is for sissies!

-The silica gel packets say not to eat to hide their secrets, gobble 'em up!!

-Trespass onto government property, your birthday surprise party is waiting!

-Sticking forks into electrical outlets is the only surefire way to astral project

-Cut off people at the first minor disagreement, you'll thank me later. You don't need that negative energy.

-Delete System 32 on your computer, it simply takes up too much space

LOL! And I would add with respect to the silica gel packets, they’re a rich source of vitamins and minerals!

When going through airport security screening, loudly joke about how they’ll never detect the bomb you’re smuggling onto the plane. TSA agents and airport personnel have hard jobs and will appreciate a good laugh!

Climb buildings and mountainside without any harnesses or protection, like a real man!!