If You Were a Flesh Light What Would Your Name Be?
 

Beware of Dog

Do I own that movie? I feel like I do but I can't be sure. Like I think the only reason I've seen it is cause I saw it for pennies somewhere and thought lol why not? The opening scene is all you really need to see tbh.

I think I've seen a glimpse of a scene or two years ago, but I can't really remember. Definitely haven't seen the whole thing. The cover does not promise great things.

Achtung!

"thank you for playing!"

It's terrible and not even in a fun way. The action scenes are lame, the people making it clearly didn't even care enough to make it into a potential cult classic, there's way too much "not action scenes" in a movie that doesn't have any business having drama, and the lulz factor of watching Pamela Anderson act gets old pretty quickly. But the opening scene is just Pamela Anderson topless with spraying water for like five minutes. I mean it's just the credits but it's solid.

Either that ^, or Plankton.

Years back, I used to watch all sorts trashy, obscure B-movies with my brother and it's a very common mistake: Lots of boring exposition and quarter-assed drama when everyone watching is obviously just there for the monsters, action and dumb punch lines.