Reviewing a pile of VHS tapes I found by a dumpster
 

They were there and I was bored. And yes, I do actually have a VHS player, because of course I do.

Here's the first one from the pile:

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon....EL._SY445_.jpg

Over two hours of blank verse? Hell yes. Bring it on, bitch.

All the classic Shakespeare-isms are here. A devious bastard son, a clever clown that makes everyone look like stupid assholes, a sad guy bemoaning the shittiness of human nature, etc.

Oh, and a guy gets his eyes ripped out, which is always great. And then he tries to kill himself by jumping off a cliff, somehow survives, and is just like "Well, shit."

The guy who plays the lead role is awesome, fills all of his scenes with energy.

The actresses who play the two eldest daughters are fun. Perfectly capture the essence of the overtly conniving bitchqueen within.

Good times. Great performances. Neither my favorite of Shakespeare's plays, nor the many film adaptations, but still aight.

I've seen plenty of Lear, even having seen the RSC perform it live, and have yet to find myself liking the play. I just don't care for it. It goes on too long, in my opinion, for madness to be a gripping theme. My most recent viewing of the play was Ian McKellan's version.

Aye, twas a bit overwrought. 90% of that part during the storm could've been clipped. And the blinded guy recognizing the King's voice but not his own son's was kinda lol.

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon....1AZ0TXZK2L.jpg

Jesus ****ing christ. One minute in, and I'm already rolling. Why the **** haven't I ever watched this before?

Hilarious parody of thinly veiled propaganda war movies, while also a great war movie in its own right. Super entertaining. Instant favorite.

why were you by a dumpster

and where was this dumpster by

I'm confused on multiple levels here

Was there any porn in the pile? :pimp:

I can't do VHS anymore. I tried to rewatch some of my old Disney movies and the quality was so terrible I wished for death.

This is important.

You also gotta watch Verhoeven's most hated film, Showgirls. What people seem to miss is that you gotta watch it the same way you watch Starship Troopers. It couldn't be more tongue in cheek if it tried.

My apartment complex has two big dumpsters in the parking lot (one for trash, the other for recycling). And what was I gonna do, not embrace my inner Dude111 and save those poor abandoned tapes?

And nah, there wasn't any porn. Or maybe someone just swiped all dat sweet smut before I found the pile. I hear once someone hits Level 20 with the Perv class, they can sense whenever there's porn by a nearby dumpster.