Reviewing a pile of VHS tapes I found by a dumpster

~~Dude111~~ · 06-24-2019, 05:42 PM

I would love getting a good MONO videodisc player

I have 1 movie (Poltergiest) but no player..........

Oriphiel · 06-24-2019, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doug McClasky

What were you doing in the back of a seedy Vietnamese store?

Well what the **** else am I gonna do when I'm in the Vietnamese section of town eating a gigantic steamed pork bun and happen to pass by a store filled wall-to-wall with VCDs? Not buy slasher flicks/porn from them?

~~Dude111~~ · 06-25-2019, 03:58 AM

Do ya still have any of your tapes buddy??

Oriphiel · 06-26-2019, 07:52 PM

Dream Home

Curb stomp abortion. Vacuum-seal suffocation. Kitchen knife disembowelment. A wooden plank through the face. A shattered bong through the neck.

Brutality? Nah, good business tactics.

Real estate is so expensive in Hong Kong that the only way to get a good deal on a flat is to just slaughter all of the other tenants.

And that's exactly what this flick is all about. Crazy chick with a crappy childhood gets sick of waiting for her ideal apartment to become available and affordable, and takes matters into her own hands.

Awesome lead actress. Great cinematography. More depth than I was expecting. Beautiful Cantonese. And just overall way better than it has any right to be.

10/10

The Batlord · 06-27-2019, 05:03 PM

****ing sold. And I love Cantonese. When it's being shouted at full volume it's quite possibly the most entertaining language on earth.

Oriphiel · 06-27-2019, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doug McClasky

****ing sold. And I love Cantonese. When it's being shouted at full volume it's quite possibly the most entertaining language on earth.

The Batlord · 06-27-2019, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oriphiel

And I just want you to know that next week I'm going to hang out with my buddy and we're going to get trashed at his house for 4th of July and I bought Hardboiled and The Killer specifically cause I just fell in love with them, he's never seen any John Woo movies, and we're action movie buddies so this feels like destiny. He was even the person who told me about Sleeping Dogs.

And now I wish you could be there too.

Oriphiel · 06-27-2019, 06:26 PM

Sounds ****ing awesome. Just make sure that he doesn't try to switch to the dub like a pussy.

Oh, and also order a mountain of greasy-ass chinese food. But I guess that kinda goes without saying.

The Batlord · 06-27-2019, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oriphiel

Sounds ****ing awesome. Just make sure that he doesn't try to switch to the dub like a pussy.

Oh, and also order a mountain of greasy-ass chinese food. But I guess that kinda goes without saying.

If a dub even exists on the DVD's I'll feel soiled. And I already intend on Chinese food.

I'm also bringing over my laptop with all my roms and my SNES and SEGA controllers so we can play Final Fight 3, Streets of Rage 2, and Mario Kart. It's gonna be lit cause he has an HDMI cable for his giant TV.

Oriphiel · 06-27-2019, 09:00 PM

The Twins Effect

I don't even know where to start with this one. It's like someone watched Blade and said "Yo, I bet I could turn this into a retarded romcom."

If you like generic hoodie vampires breakdance-fighting with swordsmen in between scenes of gratuitous slapstick, congrats, you just found your holy grail. Within the first five minutes, that dude with the weird beard from the elite vampire council in Blade gets flipped upside down and hammer-fist smashed in the nuts.

Mere words can't even do this **** proper justice. This movie is ****ing randomness incarnate. One minute, a Manowar reject is dropkicking people through a greenhouse. The next, some wacky vamps sit down for a nice glass of Chateau Blood. Cut to two girls having an aerial kung fu battle over a teddy bear. Five seconds later, two characters are crashing Jackie Chan's wedding (not kidding).

And you know what? It's actually kinda adorable.

Banana flavored vampire antidote cakes/10

06-26-2019, 07:52 PM	#84 (permalink)
Oriphiel Ask me how! Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The States Posts: 5,354	Dream Home Curb stomp abortion. Vacuum-seal suffocation. Kitchen knife disembowelment. A wooden plank through the face. A shattered bong through the neck. Brutality? Nah, good business tactics. Real estate is so expensive in Hong Kong that the only way to get a good deal on a flat is to just slaughter all of the other tenants. And that's exactly what this flick is all about. Crazy chick with a crappy childhood gets sick of waiting for her ideal apartment to become available and affordable, and takes matters into her own hands. Awesome lead actress. Great cinematography. More depth than I was expecting. Beautiful Cantonese. And just overall way better than it has any right to be. 10/10 __________________ ---------------------- \|---Mic's Albums---\| ---------------------- ----------------------------- \|---Deafbox Industries---\| -----------------------------

06-27-2019, 06:26 PM	#88 (permalink)
Oriphiel Ask me how! Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The States Posts: 5,354	Sounds ****ing awesome. Just make sure that he doesn't try to switch to the dub like a pussy. Oh, and also order a mountain of greasy-ass chinese food. But I guess that kinda goes without saying. __________________ ---------------------- \|---Mic's Albums---\| ---------------------- ----------------------------- \|---Deafbox Industries---\| -----------------------------

06-27-2019, 09:00 PM	#90 (permalink)
Oriphiel Ask me how! Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The States Posts: 5,354	The Twins Effect I don't even know where to start with this one. It's like someone watched Blade and said "Yo, I bet I could turn this into a retarded romcom." If you like generic hoodie vampires breakdance-fighting with swordsmen in between scenes of gratuitous slapstick, congrats, you just found your holy grail. Within the first five minutes, that dude with the weird beard from the elite vampire council in Blade gets flipped upside down and hammer-fist smashed in the nuts. Mere words can't even do this ** proper justice. This movie is **ing randomness incarnate. One minute, a Manowar reject is dropkicking people through a greenhouse. The next, some wacky vamps sit down for a nice glass of Chateau Blood. Cut to two girls having an aerial kung fu battle over a teddy bear. Five seconds later, two characters are crashing Jackie Chan's wedding (not kidding). And you know what? It's actually kinda adorable. Banana flavored vampire antidote cakes/10 __________________ ---------------------- \|---Mic's Albums---\| ---------------------- ----------------------------- \|---Deafbox Industries---\| -----------------------------

06-24-2019, 05:42 PM	#81 (permalink)
~~Dude111~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jul 2016 Posts: 758	I would love getting a good MONO videodisc player I have 1 movie (Poltergiest) but no player..........

06-25-2019, 03:58 AM	#83 (permalink)
~~Dude111~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jul 2016 Posts: 758	Do ya still have any of your tapes buddy??