Reviewing a pile of VHS tapes I found by a dumpster

~~MicShazam~~ · 09-26-2018, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elphenor

lol movies

lol not appreciating a good movie

have you tried watching something other than just what your average movie bro will recommend?

Oriphiel · 09-26-2018, 05:38 PM

Oh, also, I forgot to mention, The Big Chill had a ****ing great soundtrack. Marvin Gaye, CCR, Stones, Three Dog Night, a plethora of groovy **** that I couldn't help but sing along to 'cause I'm a ****ing loser.

DwnWthVwls · 09-26-2018, 07:48 PM

Review deez nuts.

Oriphiel · 09-26-2018, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls

Review deez nuts.

Alright, if you insist.

Oh for ****'s sake, even the title of this piece of **** ****ing sucks.

The first movie was about a guy getting revenge on some teens who ran him over and left him for dead. And now the hook man is back to kill a bunch of people... in the bahamas... most of whom had nothing to do with his being hit by a car. Because I guess everybody was doing bad **** last summer, or something.

The girl who survived the first movie and some friends win a tropical vacation which *spoiler alert* was all orchestrated by the hook man, because he used to work at a hotel in the bahamas, and thought it'd be fun to lure Jennifer Love Hewitt and her new buds there, and then kill everyone within a five mile radius. Seriously.

Oh, and the hook man's boy joins him in some father-son slaughter bonding.

And Jack Black plays a stoner Rasta guy who takes a hedge clipper through the chest (which actually kinda made me laugh, 'cause the hook man casually peruses a bunch of tools before settling on the proper utensil for disposing of a ****ty comedian).

This movie gets two stars, one for each of Jennifer Love Hewitt's tits. The end.

Mondo Bungle · 09-26-2018, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oriphiel

And yes, I do actually have a VHS player, because of course I do.

it's called a VCR whippersnapper

Oriphiel · 09-26-2018, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mondo Bungle

it's called a VCR whippersnapper

And if I gave a ****, you'd be the first to get a **** cookie

Mondo Bungle · 09-26-2018, 08:38 PM

you replied haha

Oriphiel · 09-26-2018, 08:40 PM

I always save a snarky reply for you, sugar tits

Mondo Bungle · 09-26-2018, 08:45 PM

Mondo Bungle · 09-26-2018, 08:47 PM

yeah well waddya think about that

09-26-2018, 05:38 PM	#22 (permalink)
Oriphiel Ask me how! Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The States Posts: 5,354	Oh, also, I forgot to mention, The Big Chill had a **ing great soundtrack. Marvin Gaye, CCR, Stones, Three Dog Night, a plethora of groovy that I couldn't help but sing along to 'cause I'm a **ing loser. __________________ ---------------------- \|---Mic's Albums---\| ---------------------- ----------------------------- \|---Deafbox Industries---\| -----------------------------

09-26-2018, 08:40 PM	#28 (permalink)
Oriphiel Ask me how! Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The States Posts: 5,354	I always save a snarky reply for you, sugar tits __________________ ---------------------- \|---Mic's Albums---\| ---------------------- ----------------------------- \|---Deafbox Industries---\| -----------------------------