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View Poll Results: Walk like...
A man. 2 28.57%
An Egyptian. 3 42.86%
An anal bead. 2 28.57%
Voters: 7. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 02-24-2018, 03:29 PM   #61 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Ol’ Qwerty Bastard View Post
continue towards the cave
Yeah let’s get in that ****ing cave and kill some ****
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Old 02-24-2018, 03:30 PM   #62 (permalink)
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Btw

What’s my character’s name?
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Old 02-24-2018, 04:05 PM   #63 (permalink)
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ol' occult bastard imo
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I'm not even mad. Seriously I'm not. You're a good dude, and I think and hope you'll become something good
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Old 02-28-2018, 02:22 PM   #64 (permalink)
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Btw

What’s my character’s name?
I gave you a chance to name them, and you blew it.

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Originally Posted by Oriphiel View Post
The Mind Worm asks you for your name.

How do you reply?
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Originally Posted by OccultHawk View Post
I take a skinny dip in the stream. Back stroke with a visible hard on.
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Originally Posted by Oriphiel View Post
The Mind Worm and the rest of your Monstourage eye you expectantly, waiting for your response.

Not saying a word, you rip off your clothes, proudly baring your erection to your followers. Without breaking eye contact, you back up into the stream and start to do a back stroke.

The Monstourage chatter amongst themselves, enquiring as to what the hell just happened. The Mind Worm mentally shushes them, for he understands. Though at first your actions seem lewd and nonsensical, there is a deeper meaning hidden within. The Mind Worm explains that you respect your followers so completely that you have cast away your birth name, and are allowing them to give you a new one in honor of this new stage of your life. Comissioning your followers thusly, you then showed them your naked body as a symbol of purity, to show that you have nothing to hide from them, your erection showing that you live with an unashamed love of all of existence. And your back stroke symbolizes that... I don't know, you're not afraid of swimming against the tide, or some shit like that.

The Monstourage is moved by your display. After discussing the matter for some time, they dub you "Proudly Naked and Ever Erect One", or just "Proudly" for short. You roll with it.
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Old 02-28-2018, 02:25 PM   #65 (permalink)
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Got it.

I’m Proudly.
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Old 03-16-2018, 01:57 PM   #66 (permalink)
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continue towards the cave
You and your Monstourage head towards the mysterious cave. Before long, the mysterious mouth comes into view, with mysteriously shaped stalactites rising up mysteriously from the ground, made all the more mysterious by the fact that they're actually stalagmites. It's all very mysterious. And spooky.

You all take a moment to let the aesthetic sink in. A strange gurgling sound escapes from the stony lips of the cavern.

"You go first," says Frownlad, for while goblins are useful for avant garde lute solos, they are cowards at heart.

Banshee Jo appraises the cave thoughtfully, with a hand to her chin and everything. "Hmm," says she. "I bet if I let out a scream, it'd travel through the cave and kill everything inside of it. But the intermingling of the echoes across the countless nooks and crannies might combine to create a Scream Singularity, or Screamularity if you will. And that might break the universe. Or at least affect the nature of the surrounding area thus that it becomes a toxic hellhole."

"A Screamularity?" you ask. "How do you know? Has such a thing ever happened before?"

She nods. "Aye. Once, long ago, in the land of New Jersey. And look how it turned out for them."

You shudder.

Jimmy Four Claws anxiously sharpens his four claws. "Forget screaming. My claws can't sleep unless they're blanketed in blood. Let's just get in there and kick ass. I'll lead the way."

What do you do?

---
Proudly
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Title: Cave Gazer
Health: 15
Energy: 14
Inventory: Whip, Headband
Skills: Bull****, Monster Mash, Get In Here

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Monstourage
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Mind Worm (Healthy)
Frownlad the Goblin (Healthy)
Jimmy Four Claws (Healthy)
Banshee Jo (Healthy)
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Old 03-16-2018, 02:05 PM   #67 (permalink)
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Not mysterious enough.

Anyway, I'd have Frownlad and company walk in a line, slowly, towards the cave. Since I don't think we have a sourche of light, I think we'll just let Frownlad trigger any eventual traps, leaving the rest of the team safe and sound. No one wants to hear more avant gare lute playing anyway.

Oh, and a note of extreme importance: NO ONE touches any of the stalactites-turned-stalagmites. Except frownlad, he can't resist licking the first one he walks by. Weakness of character.
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Old 03-16-2018, 05:37 PM   #68 (permalink)
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I follow in and I’m looking for something to rape.
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Old 03-22-2018, 02:02 PM   #69 (permalink)
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Not mysterious enough.

Anyway, I'd have Frownlad and company walk in a line, slowly, towards the cave. Since I don't think we have a sourche of light, I think we'll just let Frownlad trigger any eventual traps, leaving the rest of the team safe and sound. No one wants to hear more avant gare lute playing anyway.

Oh, and a note of extreme importance: NO ONE touches any of the stalactites-turned-stalagmites. Except frownlad, he can't resist licking the first one he walks by. Weakness of character.
You gaze at the cave with an expression so pensive and thoughtful that every man within a hundred miles sporting a wise looking beard suddenly feels the urge to stroke it.

"There are probably monsters inside," says the Mind Worm, using his telepathy to force his words directly into your brain like stuffing being crammed up a dead turkey's asshole. "And possibly a few traps."

"Yes," you agree. You turn to face your Monstourage. "Frownlad, you lead the way. The rest of us will follow after you."

Frownlad drops his lute. It lets out a painful sound, not unlike his playing, as it hits the dirt below. "But... but..." he stammers, his eyes widening. "I'm just a musician! Why not send Jimmy or Jo in first? They're warriors! They love danger! Hell, if Jimmy springs a deathtrap, it'll probably just give him an erection as it bounces off his hide!"

You step towards the goblin with arms crossed. "I've made up my mind," you state, the stately state of your gait never to abate as you refuse to wait or commiserate the cowardly goblin's sordid fate. "You will go in first. If there are any dangers ahead, you will bait them out for the rest of us. Obey the words of your master."

"Fuck that," says Frownlad, retrieving his lute and lashing it to his back as he turns to leave. "I'm outta here. I don't need this. I was doing fine as a busker until I got kidnapped by that group of circus weirdos, and then got stuck with you assholes."

Banshee Jo and Jimmy Four Claws block his path.

"Proudly saved us," says Jimmy. "He's our master now. We must repay his kindness."

"I don't care!" yells Frownlad. "I'm not gonna be the master's bait! He can go do it himself!"

Sighing, Jimmy and Jo lift the small goblin, carrying him forcefully to the mouth of the cave as he shouts out a torrent of protests. They toss him into the darkness. There is the sound of an impact as he comes to ground, and the mutterings of a few goblin curses, before all becomes silent.

"Are you alright?" you ask, your voice echoing through the cavern as you carefully step inside. "How fare thee?"

The Mounstourage follows you in. Your weak, human eyes slowly begin to adjust to the darkness within. In time, you see Frownlad sitting dejectedly on the ground, holding something in his hands.

"Fairly well," the goblin answers, standing and turning. In his clutches is a skull, still slick and grimy with what yet remains of its late owner's decomposing features. He laughs. "Better than this asshole, anyway." He tosses the skull to Jimmy, who starts eating it without a second thought.

"It's very dark," you remark, struggling to peer through the inky blackness.

"Oh, hold on," says Banshee Jo. Before long, a spooky aura of blueish light begins to surround her, illuminating the cave with its dim radiance.

You smile. "I didn't know that you could glow."

She shrugs. "All banshees can glow, when we think spooky thoughts."

Through the beams of the banshee-light, you can now see your surroundings with more clarity. There are three paths leading out of the main chamber of the cavern. The first is slick with moisture, bearing a thick mane of moss. The second is dry, and seems to be sprinkled with some sort of reddish residue. The third is very craggy, and prefaced with a big sign reading 'TREASURE!!!' that points within.

What do you do?

---
Proudly
---
Title: Freak Fighter and Banshee Lighter
Health: 15
Energy: 14
Inventory: Whip, Headband
Skills: Bull****, Monster Mash, Get In Here

---
Monstourage
---
Mind Worm (Healthy)
Frownlad the Goblin (Healthy)
Jimmy Four Claws (Healthy)
Banshee Jo (Healthy)
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Old 03-22-2018, 02:12 PM   #70 (permalink)
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I rape Frownlad.
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