|
Register | Blogging | Today's Posts | Search |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
10-16-2018, 06:57 PM | #742 (permalink) | |
carpe musicam
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Les Barricades Mystérieuses
Posts: 7,710
|
Step 1 Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.
Step 2 Write a note that simply says "check the oven" and place it on the bottom shelf of your refrigerator. Step 3 Stock you refrigerator with chocolate pudding. Step 4 Throw out all your spoons. - it is very important you don't skip steps 1 through 4 Step 5 Invite Chula Vista over. - Chula Vista will distract you mom with his family photos Step 6 Invite The Batlord over, but tell him he can't use the front door. Make something up like you don't want your neighbors to call the cops. Step 7 When he arrives you get into an argument with him in the kitchen. Step 8 Before he shoves you into the oven, ask for one last request. Tell him to call Merit over to your house, and to tell him he has import proof that aliens really exist. - After The Batlord shoves you in the oven. He'll the glance over and spot your refrigerator. He will commence to open the refrigerator door and a blinding light will knock him to the floor. He gets up and runs over to the silverware draw for a spoon but won't be able to find one. This will not deter him. He will proceed to refrigerator and eat all the chocolate pudding with his fingers. This will take a few hours. If he had a spoon maybe a few minutes. As he goes for the last pudding he'll see the note you place on the bottom shelf. He will remember what he did. So nonchalantly he will take you out of the oven and places you in a chair. Then he'll remember your last request then calls Merit. After the quick phone call he will go into the parlor and ask your mom if he can use the bathroom. Chula anxiously shouts out where to find it. The Bathlord goes in, locks the door. He slips out the bathroom window, still fearing your neighbors will call the cops on him. Step 9 Merit comes over and asks for you. You mom tells him you're in the kitchen. She says she'll show him the way. Step 10 Chula pulls on her arm and says "Wait Mrs. Oriphiel, I haven't shown you pictures of my daughter yet." Step 11 Merit walks in the kitchen and sees you in the chair and screams "Oh noooo, Mrs. Oriphiel! Your son ... he's just been wasted by aliens with laser guns!" Steo 12 ... there, you've been just roasted.
__________________
Quote:
"it counts in our hearts" ?ºº? “I have nothing to offer anybody, except my own confusion.” Jack Kerouac. “If one listens to the wrong kind of music, he will become the wrong kind of person.” Aristotle. "If you tried to give Rock and Roll another name, you might call it 'Chuck Berry'." John Lennon "I look for ambiguity when I'm writing because life is ambiguous." Keith Richards |
|
10-16-2018, 07:14 PM | #743 (permalink) |
Ask me how!
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: The States
Posts: 5,354
|
What
__________________
---------------------- |---Mic's Albums---| ---------------------- ----------------------------- |---Deafbox Industries---| ----------------------------- |
10-16-2018, 08:53 PM | #744 (permalink) | |
Zum Henker Defätist!!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
Posts: 48,199
|
Damn, Neap.
__________________
Quote:
|
|
10-16-2018, 09:06 PM | #745 (permalink) | |
carpe musicam
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Les Barricades Mystérieuses
Posts: 7,710
|
See the whole thing, it's like American Psycho. Did The Batlord really shove Oriphel into the oven? Or was it a sugar rush from all the chocolate pudding he ate that made him hallucinate all of it?
__________________
Quote:
"it counts in our hearts" ?ºº? “I have nothing to offer anybody, except my own confusion.” Jack Kerouac. “If one listens to the wrong kind of music, he will become the wrong kind of person.” Aristotle. "If you tried to give Rock and Roll another name, you might call it 'Chuck Berry'." John Lennon "I look for ambiguity when I'm writing because life is ambiguous." Keith Richards |
|
10-17-2018, 03:17 AM | #748 (permalink) | |
carpe musicam
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Les Barricades Mystérieuses
Posts: 7,710
|
I know exactly what you are thinking: "What? There is so much verisimilitude in this story, can't believe it's a work of fiction." e.g. Chula Vista showing his family photo, The Batlord eating chocolate pudding with his fingers and [Merit] searching for proof of aliens.
__________________
Quote:
"it counts in our hearts" ?ºº? “I have nothing to offer anybody, except my own confusion.” Jack Kerouac. “If one listens to the wrong kind of music, he will become the wrong kind of person.” Aristotle. "If you tried to give Rock and Roll another name, you might call it 'Chuck Berry'." John Lennon "I look for ambiguity when I'm writing because life is ambiguous." Keith Richards |
|
|