Frownland

Step one: you ask me a question.
Step two: I perform a chance operation that will decide some element of my answer.
Step three: I construct an appropriate answer using the criteria established in step two.

So tell me MB, what ails you?

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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.

YorkeDaddy

My stomach feels utterly awful after a night of drinking followed by projectile spewing

Dearest Frownland, what is your advice for me to feel better?

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Key

Frownland, YorkeDaddy won't put out no matter how many times I get sexy for him. What can I do to make him love me? Don't suggest poison or sleep aids as I've already tried and failed.

Carpe Mortem

Dear Frownland,

I've been drinking a lot of chocolate milk lately. Will my boobs get bigger, or does the syrup counteract the growth hormones of a pure American vitamin D cow juice?

Sincerely,

So Serious

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Frownland

Method: random number generator determining the length of my responses. The range (1-57) was determined using the I Ching.

Integer: 23

I would recommend sleeping or doing drugs to keep the party going. You can always suck it up and deal with it, too.

Integer: 20

You should wait until he is hungover from a night of drinking and revive him.
Then he'll be all yours.

Integer: 22

If you drink enough your boobs will gain weight and grow in size along with the rest of the body. For real.

__________________

Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.

Isbjørn

Dear Frownie,

I gave my child 10 dollars to buy his first CD today, and he came home with a Gary Glitter album. There's no parental advisory sticker on it or anything, but I want to be completely sure. Is this album okay for my little kid?

Sincerely,
Concerned in Connecticut

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Chula Vista

*cough*

Dear Chula...

*cough*

__________________

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

YorkeDaddy

Ki's just mad that I've been working hard lately to pay the bills and I just don't have the energy for the sexytimes when I get home

Frownie, how can I get him to understand that work comes before hot, steamy lovin?

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Frownland

*flips coin*

Heads: The album will make your child wiser.

*pulls card from deck*

Queen of diamonds: have him put a ring on it, gurrrrl.

__________________

Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.

DwnWthVwls

Dear Frown,

Why did you bump this shitty thread?

DWV

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I don't got a god complex, you got a simple god...