The "Dear Batlord..." Thread
 

Dear Batlord,

Jesus Christ, you have 10,000+ posts and none of them are worth reading.
Your avatar choices always suck.
You have girly colors for your signature. You're not edgy.
Nobody cares about comic books.
Your mom called me back, she told me to slap you in the face.
Update your journals.
Stop sending me nudes. I'm not interested. The restraining order I sent you says just that.
My cat pukes when I say your name out loud.
Grow a beard. Shave it. Then grow another one. Be a man.
Lick my feet.

Sincerely,
Ki

Dear Batlord,

Ever considered wearing chaps?

You love the attention.

I just found those two statements to be contradictory. Like the fact that you're you, and yet you have a girlfriend.

Dear Batlord,
Listen to The Residents and love Primus.

Dear Batlord,

Your insessent peering into my windows at the witching hour gives me the creeps.
I'm tired of you using my all my beauty products and my towel.Stop leaving the kitchen light on and for the record I don't want those jeans back.

All my love
Stalked in Sarasota.

PS. Plankton thinks you're getting a bit hippy.

Dear Batlord,

It's not gonna suck itself

Dear Batlord,

If a person is attracted to feet, are they a pediphile?

Dear Norway Jose,

Nah, they're just gross.

Dear Batlord,

Scarlett Johansson just said she wants to **** you really bad, but she doesn't want the reputation of being defiled by someone like you so she gives you two options. Option A: **** her feet. Option B: **** a deep wound that she has in her back. Which do you choose?

Do I get to inflict the wound?

Dear Batlord,

I keep thinking of your naked body? Should I fap to it?

Sincerely,
Ki

Dear Dude Living with the Crazy Bitch,

Grope with your gut.

Sincerely,
Your biological father

Dear Batlord,

Stop rhyming. Its annoying.

Sincerely,

**** off.

Don't hate. Appreciate.

Dear Batlord, I have always pondered the significance of the fuzzy wassies that grow from my testicles . Can you please explain their functionality ?




P.S. I'm just here to learn

Signed

That guy you tried to get to drink turpentine.

Dear lightweight,

Those hairs are there to keep you from engaging in excess exercise. When you move your legs too much, the sweat between your thighs will cause them to become sticky, entangling these hairs until it becomes painful to walk. This is a sign that you should have stopped doing anything productive long ago, and instead settled down in front of the TV with a beer and a cigarette, as God intended.

Sincerely,

Meh...

^^^ That was very insightful thanks for the assistance

Dear Dork,

How did you get to be such a dork.

Signed,

NoDork

Dr. Dre Boltard,

Have you accepted Jesus?

Sincerely,
Clinton

Dear Batlord,

Quit being such a whiny little bitch, Alien: Isolation isn't that bad.

Sincerely,
Your mom

Dear Ki,

LiL made you wear a dress.

Sincerely,
lol

Don't **** with me, bitch. I got your number.

Dear Batlord,

Why did you add ****ing nightwish to the metal album survivor. I don't think I'll survive that **** album.

Sincerely,
Your hopes and dreams

P.s. **** you

Dear Batlord,

You funny guy.

http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x...f?t=1306929076

Toodle Loo Mother****er.

CV

Dear Bulltard,

That earring makes you look like a spooky pirate.

Sincerely,
Gandhi

Earring?

Dear The Batlord,

Are you Jonah Hill?
http://rs1103.pbsrc.com/albums/g475/...aming.gif~c200

Dear Bitchlord

I imagine you as a mid 40's lard-ass comic-book collector with two sets of taped glasses on your face who is considering transgenderism and takes his anger about the fact he thinks his life in his mothers basement sucks out on other people in a sarcastic orgy lf Bathory references. And all of these are traits inherited from your mom.

Sincerely, Existence.

Dear Grungey,

I imagine you in a belltower with a high-powered rifle.

Sincerely,

Please don't shoot me

Dear Bitchlord

You're the closest thing to a man with a high-powered rifle here, no offense...

Sincerely, not Charles Whitman.

Dear Batlord,

Have you ever done a U-turn at the belly button?

Sincerely,
RVZ

Oh... ok then.

Dear Batlord,

Tell us the story of your conception,

Sincerely,
Sincerely

Okay. One day I was walking down the street and- wait, no that can't be right...

Dear Bat****,

Why are you not in dub right now?

Sincerely,

Frownland Is Playing His Own Music Now

.

Answer the question.