The "Dear Batlord..." Thread
 

Dear Batlord,

Jesus Christ, you have 10,000+ posts and none of them are worth reading.
Your avatar choices always suck.
You have girly colors for your signature. You're not edgy.
Nobody cares about comic books.
Your mom called me back, she told me to slap you in the face.
Update your journals.
Stop sending me nudes. I'm not interested. The restraining order I sent you says just that.
My cat pukes when I say your name out loud.
Grow a beard. Shave it. Then grow another one. Be a man.
Lick my feet.

Sincerely,
Ki

Dear Batlord,

Ever considered wearing chaps?

You love the attention.

I just found those two statements to be contradictory. Like the fact that you're you, and yet you have a girlfriend.

Dear Batlord,
Listen to The Residents and love Primus.

Dear Batlord,

Your insessent peering into my windows at the witching hour gives me the creeps.
I'm tired of you using my all my beauty products and my towel.Stop leaving the kitchen light on and for the record I don't want those jeans back.

All my love
Stalked in Sarasota.

PS. Plankton thinks you're getting a bit hippy.

Dear Batlord,

It's not gonna suck itself

Dear Batlord,

If a person is attracted to feet, are they a pediphile?

Dear Norway Jose,

Nah, they're just gross.