Dear Batlord,

Scarlett Johansson just said she wants to **** you really bad, but she doesn't want the reputation of being defiled by someone like you so she gives you two options. Option A: **** her feet. Option B: **** a deep wound that she has in her back. Which do you choose?

Do I get to inflict the wound?

Dear Batlord,

I keep thinking of your naked body? Should I fap to it?

Sincerely,
Ki

Dear Dude Living with the Crazy Bitch,

Grope with your gut.

Sincerely,
Your biological father

Dear Batlord,

Stop rhyming. Its annoying.

Sincerely,

**** off.

Don't hate. Appreciate.

Dear Batlord, I have always pondered the significance of the fuzzy wassies that grow from my testicles . Can you please explain their functionality ?




P.S. I'm just here to learn

Signed

That guy you tried to get to drink turpentine.

Dear lightweight,

Those hairs are there to keep you from engaging in excess exercise. When you move your legs too much, the sweat between your thighs will cause them to become sticky, entangling these hairs until it becomes painful to walk. This is a sign that you should have stopped doing anything productive long ago, and instead settled down in front of the TV with a beer and a cigarette, as God intended.

Sincerely,

Meh...

^^^ That was very insightful thanks for the assistance

Dear Dork,

How did you get to be such a dork.

Signed,

NoDork