Someone stole your bat tree. I say we get tha mutha****a.

Fill a sock with bat trees and beat the bat while he sits on his knees.

Try to hit me while I'm hanging upside down from the Bat Tree.

Just, like, a guy who's tied himself onto the branch of a tree, hanging a few inches above the ground, being hit by a sock full of batteries...

Dude, I'm bat royalty. I can hang from the branches with my crazy toes. And then unfurl my leathery wings to stalk the night, terrorizing unsuspecting virgins and MILFs.

More or less right, certainly here in Ireland anyway we tend to say "gives a pack of battries", but it's just how we tend to run words together. We also as you can see there use the phrase "gives", which is short for give us, basically give me. So, "gives a cup of tea" or "gives that hammer", or whatever.

and poseurs.

Poseurs get the guano.

"Hence why". The word "hence" means essentially "that is why" so adding "why" to it just makes for a weird, redundant phrase.

i hate it when people say "Hold the Fort Down".

the expression is "Hold the Fort"! it's not going anywhere. why would you need to hold it down?