Write a Biography of the Person Above You
 

Write a fictional biography of the person who posted last. Can be as long or as short as you want it. Funny is encouraged, mock cruelty is admirable, outlandishness is what's up, but if you want to be a pussy and say something actually nice, then, I guess that's okay too.

Come at me bros and broettes.

The Batlord is a asshole, all his life, he has been an asshole. He knows not the things he does, wait yes he does nevermind. Is there really anymore to say besides the fact that he is an asshole. Wait yes a funny asshole.
At a young age his assholery swelled up and was taken to a hospital where he was found to have an lack of nice in his body, something that the doctors believed was nothing that could be fixed. All throughout his teenage years he spread his sarcasm and asshat personality on everyone he met making many an enemy. This brings us to his adult life where The Batlord has isolated himself spreading his personality over the Internet infecting those he meets with his asholeish behaviour.

Can it be an epitaph instead?

Here lies triple W P. Forever shall she sail across the sea. In her boat made from one huge tree. Long shall she live, R.I.P.

Plankton, born some time in the previous millennia, is a diminutive sea creature who enjoys stealing burger recipes. He's also a real guitar god, and if he doesn't win Virtuoso of the Year, I'm going to eat cheesecake because cheesecake is delicious. If he does win, I'm still going to eat cheesecake.

Dammit I was skipped :laughing:

Oft overlooked, but never forgotten. Such is the way of the Machine.

Oriphiel: The man who found the only wrong way to eat a Reese's.

LiL:

Actually is from the 60s/70s. She just had the misfortune of bedding the wrong crazy scientist glamrock star turned physics major, was transported through time and space to where she lives now, and has no recollection of the event because that's just the nature of time travel. Once in a while, in dreams, she relives her glorious past and continues to do so when awake vicariously through groovy vinyl collections and substance abuse. It makes her sad that she's not with her true kin but her company's more than glad to have her around.

WhateverDude was born in a cross-fire hurricane. At age five, he tasted alcohol for the first time. At age six, he first began to experiment with drugs. At age seven, he first began to experiment with vegetables. He never looked back.