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Why Will Our Marriage Not Work? Why Will Our Marriage Not Work?
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Old 02-22-2015, 10:39 PM   #781 (permalink)
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Because nobody wants to wake up to a piece of ground beef and a pickle staring them dead in the face.

WHAT THE HELL, HUSBAND. GRAB A FUCKING NAPKIN YOU SAVAGE.
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Old 02-22-2015, 10:44 PM   #782 (permalink)
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That's a non-argument. No flesh escapes my maw.
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Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 02-23-2015, 12:48 AM   #783 (permalink)
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Because you get too drunk to eat food properly, piggy.
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Old 02-23-2015, 12:50 AM   #784 (permalink)
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Because I want you to join me in my drunken, bedtime carnivorousness, but you always pull away.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 02-23-2015, 12:52 AM   #785 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by The Batlord View Post
Because who cares about someone eating a cheeseburger in bed? You're such a girl.
I eat cheeseburgers in bed. Like a boss.
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Old 02-23-2015, 12:52 AM   #786 (permalink)
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You make airplane noises with your utensils when we eat breakfast.
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I'd vote for Trump
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Old 02-23-2015, 12:56 AM   #787 (permalink)
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You make eating noises when we fly in planes.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 02-23-2015, 12:58 AM   #788 (permalink)
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Because that's like one out of three of your jokes that are actually funny.
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Old 02-23-2015, 01:02 AM   #789 (permalink)
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Because the other two are actually serious observations about your character flaws, but you're too blind to see the truth.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 02-23-2015, 01:04 AM   #790 (permalink)
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Because I think they were actually one off dick jokes.
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