Why Will Our Marriage Not Work?

ladyislingering · 12-14-2014, 07:10 PM

Your obsessive manscaping leads me to believe that you're not one to enjoy the touch of a woman.

~~James~~ · 12-14-2014, 07:13 PM

You make too many assumptions.

ladyislingering · 12-14-2014, 07:13 PM

Your dick jokes at every family dinner were getting out of hand.

~~James~~ · 12-14-2014, 07:14 PM

Your family have a terrible sense of humour and your mother's cooking is atrocious

**Frownland** · 12-14-2014, 08:37 PM

You never share the ****ing Scotch and I know you get a discount on it because you're Scottish. I'm going broke here.

ladyislingering · 12-14-2014, 08:38 PM

You're not a very fun drunk at all.

Pet_Sounds · 12-14-2014, 09:08 PM

Apparently you're my mom, so it was illegal.

Plus, I didn't appreciate being grounded.

**Frownland** · 12-14-2014, 09:11 PM

Because I've been doing some reading, and apparently keeping you locked in my shed and keeping you alive on a diet of rotten oranges doesn't legally count as marriage.

I was just in this for the tax benefits.

ladyislingering · 12-14-2014, 09:18 PM

The money ran out and I found myself unable to remain attracted to you.

The Batlord · 12-14-2014, 10:18 PM

There was never any money, and the sex just wasn't good enough.

12-14-2014, 07:10 PM	#261 (permalink)
ladyislingering Maelian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Seattle Posts: 695	Your obsessive manscaping leads me to believe that you're not one to enjoy the touch of a woman. __________________ You and I, We were born to die.

12-14-2014, 07:13 PM	#263 (permalink)
ladyislingering Maelian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Seattle Posts: 695	Your dick jokes at every family dinner were getting out of hand. __________________ You and I, We were born to die.

12-14-2014, 08:37 PM	#265 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	You never share the ***ing Scotch and I know you get a discount on it because you're Scottish. I'm going broke here. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.* d e a f b o x

12-14-2014, 08:38 PM	#266 (permalink)
ladyislingering Maelian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Seattle Posts: 695	You're not a very fun drunk at all. __________________ You and I, We were born to die.

12-14-2014, 09:08 PM	#267 (permalink)
Pet_Sounds Remember the underscore Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: The other side Posts: 2,488	Apparently you're my mom, so it was illegal. Plus, I didn't appreciate being grounded. __________________ Everybody's dying just to get the disease

12-14-2014, 07:13 PM	#262 (permalink)
~~James~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 4,483	You make too many assumptions.

12-14-2014, 07:14 PM	#264 (permalink)
~~James~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 4,483	Your family have a terrible sense of humour and your mother's cooking is atrocious

12-14-2014, 09:11 PM	#268 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	Because I've been doing some reading, and apparently keeping you locked in my shed and keeping you alive on a diet of rotten oranges doesn't legally count as marriage. I was just in this for the tax benefits. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

12-14-2014, 09:18 PM	#269 (permalink)
ladyislingering Maelian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Seattle Posts: 695	The money ran out and I found myself unable to remain attracted to you. __________________ You and I, We were born to die.