Frownland

It's a tie.

A: I was five years old when I was trying to get the toilet paper holder off of the rack thing to no avail because I didn't understand the mechanism. I pulled harder and harder, then decided that standing on the counter was the way to get the best leverage (actual quote from when I was five). I pulled and fell off the counter, gashed the area right by my left eye on the corner of the toilet paper holder. I remember the pain being really intense, then being at the doctor while he was putting in the stitches, so I think I might have fainted in the process. I still have the scar today, luckily the glasses help hide it.

B: ****ing Little Caesars. Goddamn ****head ****s at Little Caesars. I got food poisoning from one of their pizzas once that didn't leave me be for about three days and my insides were burning the whole time. I got about two hours of sleep that whole time and nothing helped, not pot, not pepto, not laxative, not any ****ing thing. **** those guys and spend an extra two dollars at a slightly less ****ty pizza joint.

Name five of your biggest heroes. The why is nice but not required.

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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.