Hookers exist and sheltered Christians will tell you the opposite scenario.

Have you ever gotten a hooker?

No.

You don't think Jesus was a real person or based on one?

Not in the popular narrative sense, but I do believe that someone with a name equivalent to Jesus probably got killed by some Romans.

Melissa McCarthy: shag, snog, avoid, marry, kill, erase from our history because she's a female Adam Sandler, or frame her for an elaborate crime that will end with her being publicly executed?

Avoid. She's had some laughable moments, but yeh I struggle to not pick erase.

Playdoh or Gak?

Never played with Gak, so Playdoh by default.

Which Kardashian would you fuck if forced to choose?

NONE. Me no like Kardashians.

Do you like the apple or orange more?

An orange is more work, but I always feel afterwards that it was worth the effort. Each has its place, though.

What is your least favourite month of the year, and why?

February is kind of pointless... and cold.

Whats the first thing you would do if you found that you were suddenly the only person left on Earth?

Being our hottest month, and me being a fan of sunshine and warmth, it's my favourite. It's always annoyed me that it's such a short month.

Start eating - all the perishable stuff first, as who knows how long before the power is gone and the fridge stops working.

Then, I guess, masturbate, as that's the last sex I am going to get.

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If it had to be one or the other, would you opt to die by drowning, or by falling from a height sufficient to kill you on impact?

I'll take the free sky diving lessons.

Do you eat ketchup or drink it?