Trampled by fatties at Wal Mart on black Friday

That could actually happen..

Thought you were going to burp; vomits instead and chokes on it.

Gets shot by a cop for j-walking, then gets throat ripped out by Deputy Otter.

Runs into George Zimmerman

Runs into a death.

Tries to fart, actually poops, commits suicide in embarrassment

Watches one of the modern SpongeBob episodes, where the disappointment of what has become of a once great show is enough to send you into a spiral of alcohol and drug fueled depression that leads to you jumping off of a cliff while on fire, where you commit seppuku in midair and land on a minefield.

Gets killed by an insane psycho

Runs naked through the streets on LSD, gets hit by a bus