Clubbed to death because a tweaker mistook you for a baby seal

Replace the head of the bear on your avatar with your head. Yeah.

Ran with scissors

Was run into by someone running with scissors.

Runs out of butter.

Given a substitute but can't believe it's not butter. Goes on an angry shooting spree. Gets killed by the cops.

insults a gypsy
gets cursed
Dies of anorexia

Listens to the Pixies
Gets orgasm
Heart attack from too strong orgasm

breast cancer.

...in my magnificent man boobs.

Peacefully, surrounded by friends and family, and Pixies playing in the background