Granted, but you have to share it with me.

I wish Undertaker's streak remained intact at Wrestlemania.

Granted, but only because his body odor has knocked out all of his opponents!

Granted, but only because Bret Hart went on a shooting spree and Wrestlemania was cancelled.

I wish I didn't need sleep.

Granted, but the longer you stay awake, the faster you age.

I wish I had a whole bunch of kittens.

Granted, but they are dead.

I wish I could eat sugar without it being toxic in my body.

You can, but only if you abstain from water.

I wish we could never grow old.

Granted, but we live long past the deaths of everyone we care about.

I wish Pokemon were real.

Granted, but you can't catch them.

I wish that I could ban members that I think are horrible.

Granted, but you have to give yourself a five day ban every time you ban someone.

I wish I could ride a dragon.

Granted but The Dragon must also ride you

I wish I was getting married to Alex Turner