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Old 05-24-2014, 05:09 PM   #181 (permalink)
cooler commie than elph
 
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I forgot to wish for something.

Uh.


Wish it wasn't depressingly foggy out.
Granted. The sky is clear of both clouds and ozone. You die of skin cancer. Just you.

I wish I wasn't so goddamn classy
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Old 05-27-2014, 12:08 AM   #182 (permalink)
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Granted. You are now a classless bum.

I wish I had a time machine.
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Old 05-27-2014, 01:19 AM   #183 (permalink)
cooler commie than elph
 
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Granted. It only takes you to the showers in a WWII concentration camp. You can't bring anything there, either.



I wish I was a bear
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Old 05-27-2014, 01:30 AM   #184 (permalink)
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Granted. You have to **** in the woods.

I wish I had a million dollars.
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Old 05-27-2014, 01:35 AM   #185 (permalink)
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Granted, but you have to walk on broken glass to get it.

I wish for a dark, handsome and tall man (with sexy hair) to whisk me away to a castle where we make love for hours and have servants to do all the work like cooking and cleaning.
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Old 05-27-2014, 01:39 AM   #186 (permalink)
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pfffft. walk on glass, ain't no thang for one millions dollars.

Granted, but the sex is awkward and boring. The food, bland. The cleaning, half-assed. And you find your belongings suspiciously disappear.


And the castle is haunted by ghosts or whatever.


I wish I had straighter teeth.
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Old 05-27-2014, 04:21 AM   #187 (permalink)
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Granted, but they're not in your mouth.

I wish I could fly like the king of the SKYYY
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Old 05-27-2014, 08:54 AM   #188 (permalink)
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Granted, but they're not in your mouth.

I wish I could fly like the king of the SKYYY
Granted, but you're propelled by infinite flatulence.

I wish I had boobs.
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Old 05-27-2014, 09:54 AM   #189 (permalink)
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Granted. Now I get to stare at them.

I wish Iron Maiden would play my birthday party.
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There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 05-27-2014, 11:23 AM   #190 (permalink)
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Granted. Now I get to stare at them.

I wish Iron Maiden would play my birthday party.
Granted. They play none of their eighties stuff and Bruce Dickinson is too drunk to show up.

I wish I had the two last LOTR books
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