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Old 05-01-2014, 03:42 PM   #111 (permalink)
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Granted, but you enjoy it so much that you can't stand to go back at the end of the day and wind up injuring yourself horribly in a botched at home sex change.

I wish the people I love weren't so far away from me.

Sane Psycho - they're much better, but it's because we live in an Idiocracy style world where the average IQ is 55
The people you love are connected to you human-centipede style.

I wish I enjoyed exercising.
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Old 05-01-2014, 08:46 PM   #112 (permalink)
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The people you love are connected to you human-centipede style.

I wish I enjoyed exercising.

I legit laughed at that one, hard.

You enjoy exercising but have an allergic reaction to sweat.

I wish i had some nutella.
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Old 05-01-2014, 08:49 PM   #113 (permalink)
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Granted but you're allergic to, ah, what is it, hazelnuts? Pretty sure it's hazlenuts. I wish I could get laid 2nite.
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Old 05-01-2014, 08:55 PM   #114 (permalink)
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Granted but you're allergic to, ah, what is it, hazelnuts? Pretty sure it's hazlenuts. I wish I could get laid 2nite.

You're totally getting laid! For the last time ever.

I too wish I was getting laid tonight.
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Old 05-01-2014, 09:56 PM   #115 (permalink)
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Enjoy your evening with Rosy O'Donnell.

I wish I could sing well.
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Old 05-01-2014, 09:59 PM   #116 (permalink)
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Granted, but you go deaf straight after.

I wish I could music well.
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Old 05-01-2014, 10:00 PM   #117 (permalink)
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Granted, but you go deaf straight after.

I wish I could music well.
You music well! But only a select few truly understand your genius, and you can't even get any bandmates to do gigs with.

I wish I didn't suffer from crippling menstrual cramps.
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Old 05-01-2014, 11:45 PM   #118 (permalink)
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I wish I didn't suffer from crippling menstrual cramps.
You're a man with ugly saggy balls.

I wish I could know when and how I will die.
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Old 05-02-2014, 12:11 AM   #119 (permalink)
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You're a man with ugly saggy balls.

I wish I could know when and how I will die.

Granted - but the person you love most in the world dies with you.

I wish i had perfect eyesight
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Old 05-02-2014, 06:40 AM   #120 (permalink)
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granted but everyone else in the world is blind.

i wish i could speak dolphin.
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