Dad Jokes

Trollheart · 04-01-2014, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

Boo go away thought police.

No need to try to tell me what I thought about when I made that post.

The reason I felt bad is because I went straight to worse case scenario and that's why my reaction was to feel that way. I didn't sit back and think about it in depth to bring up other scenarios because I don't feel that greatly about it.

Can't you just chalk it up to us thinking about it in different ways and move along?

Of course I can. It was you who took a perfectly innocent joke and brought violence into it. I think more of fluffy bunnies and clouds and kittens playing with balls of string, y'see.

Trollheart · 04-01-2014, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

Say relax one more time and this whole thread goes up in smoke!

I think he may mean it!!!

The Batlord · 04-02-2014, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

I chuckled then felt bad at the same time.

Made me think of what kind of violence happened to her that she required one.

Maybe she forgot the mayo.

ladyislingering · 04-02-2014, 01:27 PM

Not really a "joke" but my dad used to say this a lot when I was growing up -

"Here I sit, brokenhearted,
tried to shit, but only farted"

It wasn't until my early 20s that I realized that this silly thing must have originated from this adorable song by these lovely young ladies ....

Spoiler for The Ronettes - "Here I Sit":

God damn it, dad.

He also used to use this slightly racist zinger to describe his bowel movements:

Spoiler for don't say I didn't warn you:

Classic dad joke:

"How many people are dead in the graveyard?"

Spoiler for how many? hurr hurr hurr:

Trollheart · 04-02-2014, 06:26 PM

Yeah I have a better cemetery joke:

Breaking news: A single-seater plane has just crashlanded in a graveyard. Police have so far recovered 844 bodies....

Plankton · 04-03-2014, 09:31 AM

Guess who's in the hospital?

Spoiler for Answer:

Did Elvis die?

Spoiler for Answer:

Why did the man put his car in the oven?

Spoiler for Answer:

**Janszoon** · 04-03-2014, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plankton

Why did the man put his car in the oven?

Spoiler for Answer:

I think this would be funnier if it was his penis in the oven.

djchameleon · 04-03-2014, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

I think this would be funnier if it was his penis in the oven.

Then it wouldn't be a dad joke like you said earlier you don't associate dick jokes with dad jokes.

Plankton · 04-03-2014, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

I think this would be funnier if it was his penis in the oven.

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

Then it wouldn't be a dad joke like you said earlier you don't associate dick jokes with dad jokes.

Yeah, I wouldn't tell that one to my daughter, but I'll use the dick version when I'm out drinking with friends.

**Janszoon** · 04-03-2014, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

Then it wouldn't be a dad joke like you said earlier you don't associate dick jokes with dad jokes.

I didn't say it would still be a dad joke, I just said it would be funnier.

04-02-2014, 01:27 PM	#64 (permalink)
ladyislingering Maelian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Seattle Posts: 695	Not really a "joke" but my dad used to say this a lot when I was growing up - "Here I sit, brokenhearted, tried to shit, but only farted" It wasn't until my early 20s that I realized that this silly thing must have originated from this adorable song by these lovely young ladies .... Spoiler for The Ronettes - "Here I Sit": God damn it, dad. He also used to use this slightly racist zinger to describe his bowel movements: Spoiler for don't say I didn't warn you: "Black is beautiful. I just shit a masterpiece!" Classic dad joke: "How many people are dead in the graveyard?" Spoiler for how many? hurr hurr hurr: All of them. __________________ You and I, We were born to die.

04-02-2014, 06:26 PM	#65 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	Yeah I have a better cemetery joke: Breaking news: A single-seater plane has just crashlanded in a graveyard. Police have so far recovered 844 bodies.... __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

04-03-2014, 09:31 AM	#66 (permalink)
Plankton Just Keep Swimming... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: See signature... Posts: 7,765	Guess who's in the hospital? Spoiler for Answer: Sick people. Did Elvis die? Spoiler for Answer: I hope so, they buried him. Why did the man put his car in the oven? Spoiler for Answer: He wanted a hotrod. __________________ See location...