Dad Jokes

The Batlord · 04-15-2017, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chula Vista

Third line is a damning condemnation of Turbo.

Oriphiel · 04-15-2017, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

Third line is a damning condemnation of Turbo.

Key · 04-15-2017, 10:11 PM

I just farted in my wallet. Now I have gas money.

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

DwnWthVwls · 05-27-2017, 08:57 PM

Rjinn · 06-04-2017, 02:23 PM

"A lion will never drive drunk, but a tiger wood."

Plankton · 06-09-2017, 11:32 AM

Trollheart · 06-15-2017, 12:44 PM

Some police-themed ones:

A mysterious hole has appeared in the middle of Main Street. Police are looking into it.

The theft of the police dogs from the 19th Precinct has left police baffled. They admit they have no leads.

Responding to the removal during the night of their toilets from the station, police commented "We have nothing to go on."

A spate of robberies at shellfish restaurants has rocked the city in the last two weeks. Police have appealed for clam.

Police admit it is proving difficult to investigate the robbery at the School for the Blind, as no eye-witnesses have come forward.

Trollheart · 06-29-2017, 02:34 PM

Two flies standing on a bald man's head. Father fly says to his son "You know, son, I remember when all this was fields."

~~MicShazam~~ · 06-29-2017, 03:04 PM

A diver got fired for being too superficial.
In the end, he got re-hired because he was good enough at the bottom.

---

A man comes into a taxi, carrying a hotdog in one hand.
Driver: "Hey, this is not a restaurant!"
Man: "Yeah I know that. That's why I'm bringing my own food."

---

"Waiter, I'd like to get a table."

"Sorry sir, we don't sell the furniture."

Trollheart · 06-29-2017, 03:42 PM

Sandwich walks into a bar, barman says "Sorry, we don't serve sandwiches."

06-04-2017, 02:23 PM	#175 (permalink)
Rjinn The Aerosol in your Soul Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: New South Wales, Australia Posts: 1,546	"A lion will never drive drunk, but a tiger wood." __________________ last.fm

06-09-2017, 11:32 AM	#176 (permalink)
Plankton Just Keep Swimming... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: See signature... Posts: 7,765	__________________ See location...

06-15-2017, 12:44 PM	#177 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	Some police-themed ones: A mysterious hole has appeared in the middle of Main Street. Police are looking into it. The theft of the police dogs from the 19th Precinct has left police baffled. They admit they have no leads. Responding to the removal during the night of their toilets from the station, police commented "We have nothing to go on." A spate of robberies at shellfish restaurants has rocked the city in the last two weeks. Police have appealed for clam. Police admit it is proving difficult to investigate the robbery at the School for the Blind, as no eye-witnesses have come forward. __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

06-29-2017, 02:34 PM	#178 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	Two flies standing on a bald man's head. Father fly says to his son "You know, son, I remember when all this was fields." __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

06-29-2017, 03:42 PM	#180 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	Sandwich walks into a bar, barman says "Sorry, we don't serve sandwiches." __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

04-15-2017, 10:11 PM	#173 (permalink)
Key . Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 13,153	I just farted in my wallet. Now I have gas money. The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

06-29-2017, 03:04 PM	#179 (permalink)
~~MicShazam~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Aug 2015 Location: Aalborg Posts: 7,634	A diver got fired for being too superficial. In the end, he got re-hired because he was good enough at the bottom. --- A man comes into a taxi, carrying a hotdog in one hand. Driver: "Hey, this is not a restaurant!" Man: "Yeah I know that. That's why I'm bringing my own food." --- "Waiter, I'd like to get a table." "Sorry sir, we don't sell the furniture."