Weirdest Thing You've Ever Wiped Your Butt With

Key · 04-05-2011, 12:50 PM

I'm going to put a bunch of Queen albums in my bathroom, give me a better chance of having a good shit.

Urban Hat€monger ? · 04-05-2011, 12:51 PM

Wonder what he uses.

Mojo · 04-05-2011, 12:56 PM

He doesn't even use two-ply, he uses the stuff your fingers go right through.

Picking your nose is one thing, but when you forget to wipe first...

Key · 04-05-2011, 12:57 PM

Well, that explains his moustache.

Urban Hat€monger ? · 04-05-2011, 01:01 PM

I reckon he uses that sandpaper like crap you get in public toilets and in workplaces that tight fisted bosses buy.

It would explain the invasion of Poland.

s_k · 04-05-2011, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FRED HALE SR.

There is a silver lining. The dog licked his face later in the day.

Haha, our dog ate **** the other day and licked my mom's face.
She got away just in time

EvilChuck · 04-05-2011, 05:31 PM

I once used single ply toilet roll, that was a horrid experience although it will clearly establish my rock and roll credentials, so its not all bad.

Burning Down · 04-05-2011, 05:33 PM

I want to know how the conversation turned from general wiping to Freddie Mercury and now to Hitler. MB is weird.

Anyways, I think I actually used a paper lunch bag at school once.

~~Dirty~~ · 04-05-2011, 05:42 PM

No funny stories I can think of. Like many others I have used socks, magazines, the cardboard from the toilet paper roll, leaves, etc. My old room mate was a big fat crazy motherfucker who tormented the hell out of our other room mate who we didn't like. And it wasn't directly after a dump, but on multiple occasions I heard him exclaim "I DO NOT have the cleanest butthole right now." or another common phrase of his "I have the worlds most sweatiest, swampiest ass right now." Then he would wipe it with our other room mates face towel in his bathroom. I also saw him wipe his ass all over his door handle and his toothbrush (and his visiting girlfriends). It was hilarious at the time. I was also always really, really stoned.

s_k · 04-05-2011, 05:45 PM

I once used my own underpants. And flushed them.
I was 15 or so. It was at school, I had diarrhoea and the teacher refused to let me go.
After a while I just ran out, got to the toilet, no paper, **** that. Used my underpants, figured what I'd do with them, decided to flush them just to punish the school for hiring that **** of a teacher. Hell yeah.

I also once peed in my mom's shoes. I was... less than two years old I guess. We were out walking in a forest and I had to pee. My mom had to aim for me back then and she didn't know the golden (...) rule; Do NOT piss against the wind. So that's what she did and hit her own shoes. She didn't notice at first so they were thouroughly soaked

04-05-2011, 12:51 PM	#32 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	Wonder what he uses. __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

04-05-2011, 12:56 PM	#33 (permalink)
Mojo Melancholia Eternally Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: England Posts: 5,018	He doesn't even use two-ply, he uses the stuff your fingers go right through. Picking your nose is one thing, but when you forget to wipe first... __________________ Last.FM \| Echoes and Dust

04-05-2011, 01:01 PM	#35 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	I reckon he uses that sandpaper like crap you get in public toilets and in workplaces that tight fisted bosses buy. It would explain the invasion of Poland. __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

04-05-2011, 05:45 PM	#40 (permalink)
s_k Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 2,206	I once used my own underpants. And flushed them. I was 15 or so. It was at school, I had diarrhoea and the teacher refused to let me go. After a while I just ran out, got to the toilet, no paper, ** that. Used my underpants, figured what I'd do with them, decided to flush them just to punish the school for hiring that ** of a teacher. Hell yeah. I also once peed in my mom's shoes. I was... less than two years old I guess. We were out walking in a forest and I had to pee. My mom had to aim for me back then and she didn't know the golden (...) rule; Do NOT piss against the wind. So that's what she did and hit her own shoes. She didn't notice at first so they were thouroughly soaked __________________ Click here to see my collection

04-05-2011, 12:50 PM	#31 (permalink)
Key . Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 13,153	I'm going to put a bunch of Queen albums in my bathroom, give me a better chance of having a good shit.

04-05-2011, 12:57 PM	#34 (permalink)
Key . Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 13,153	Well, that explains his moustache.

04-05-2011, 05:31 PM	#37 (permalink)
EvilChuck #based Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: (Near) London, England Posts: 443	I once used single ply toilet roll, that was a horrid experience although it will clearly establish my rock and roll credentials, so its not all bad.

04-05-2011, 05:33 PM	#38 (permalink)
Burning Down The Music Guru. Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Beyond the Wall Posts: 4,858	I want to know how the conversation turned from general wiping to Freddie Mercury and now to Hitler. MB is weird. Anyways, I think I actually used a paper lunch bag at school once.

04-05-2011, 05:42 PM	#39 (permalink)
~~Dirty~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: USA Posts: 981	No funny stories I can think of. Like many others I have used socks, magazines, the cardboard from the toilet paper roll, leaves, etc. My old room mate was a big fat crazy motherfucker who tormented the hell out of our other room mate who we didn't like. And it wasn't directly after a dump, but on multiple occasions I heard him exclaim "I DO NOT have the cleanest butthole right now." or another common phrase of his "I have the worlds most sweatiest, swampiest ass right now." Then he would wipe it with our other room mates face towel in his bathroom. I also saw him wipe his ass all over his door handle and his toothbrush (and his visiting girlfriends). It was hilarious at the time. I was also always really, really stoned.