Weirdest Thing You've Ever Wiped Your Butt With

**Janszoon** · 04-05-2011, 12:35 AM

My worst happened on mushrooms at a party at someone's house who I didn't know. I went to the bathroom and discovered after I had "dropped the kids off that the pool" that there was no toilet paper. I ended up resorting to shredding the cardboard roll itself and using that but it unfortunately clogged up the toilet. I snuck out of the bathroom but then later was near the people who lived there while they were complaining about whoever had fucked up their toilet. Shortly thereafter the cops broke up the party and me and my friend had to run through the backyard and hide. All in all not a good night for mushrooms.

Bloozcrooz · 04-05-2011, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

My worst happened on mushrooms at a party at someone's house who I didn't know. I went to the bathroom and discovered after I had "dropped the kids off that the pool" that there was no toilet paper. I ended up resorting to shredding the cardboard roll itself and using that but it unfortunately clogged up the toilet. I snuck out of the bathroom but then later was near the people who lived there while they were complaining about whoever had fucked up their toilet. Shortly thereafter the cops broke up the party and me and my friend had to run through the backyard and hide. All in all not a good night for mushrooms.

i knew i wasnt the only one with some good poo stories!!

Paedantic Basterd · 04-05-2011, 03:43 AM

Good to see that the standard of conversation hasn't faltered in a month.

**Scarlett O'Hara** · 04-05-2011, 04:05 AM

Never been in the situation where there was no toilet paper.

I am so impressed with the type of threads being made these days. So intelligent.

/sarcasm

~~The Virgin~~ · 04-05-2011, 04:59 AM

leaves, and a bath towel, which by the way, is from my dormmate.

Howard the Duck · 04-05-2011, 05:14 AM

i used to have a colleague who was an indigenous Sarawakian aborigine - she said they use branches in the villages - she was cute, looked like a Malay but was actually Christian, i would intentionally brush against her

my dad was having the runs in a forest, he went and used dried leaves but didn't wipe cleanly as there were snakes there

Howell · 04-05-2011, 06:59 AM

My Uni's own newspaper, it just felt weird grabbing the head cheerleader's face and rubbing her imaculate face on my arse.....LAWL

Ska Lagos Jew Sun Ra · 04-05-2011, 09:12 AM

Howard the Duck · 04-05-2011, 09:20 AM

once in University, somebody scattered bits from a porn magazine on the floor, I used that for a lark

FRED HALE SR. · 04-05-2011, 11:18 AM

Long trip at the desert turned bad. My bro lets call him Simon. Had his dog out with us on a long hike thru cactus and bushes that could cut your balls off. So my friend thinking hes got some paper towels with, drops trow and starts crapping a new planet on the ground. When he discovers hes outta paper towels calls his dog over to lick his ass no joke. While i find it vile i gotta give him points for stepping up and being innovative.

04-05-2011, 12:35 AM	#11 (permalink)
Janszoon Mate, Spawn & Die Join Date: May 2007 Location: The Rapping Community Posts: 24,593	My worst happened on mushrooms at a party at someone's house who I didn't know. I went to the bathroom and discovered after I had "dropped the kids off that the pool" that there was no toilet paper. I ended up resorting to shredding the cardboard roll itself and using that but it unfortunately clogged up the toilet. I snuck out of the bathroom but then later was near the people who lived there while they were complaining about whoever had fucked up their toilet. Shortly thereafter the cops broke up the party and me and my friend had to run through the backyard and hide. All in all not a good night for mushrooms. __________________ A Night in the Life of the Invisible Man Time & Place 25 Albums You Should Hear Before the Moon Crashes into the Earth and We All Die last.fm

04-05-2011, 04:05 AM	#14 (permalink)
Scarlett O'Hara Make it so Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 6,181	Never been in the situation where there was no toilet paper. I am so impressed with the type of threads being made these days. So intelligent. /sarcasm __________________ "Elph is truly an enfant terrible of the forum, bless and curse him" - Marie, Queen of Thots

04-05-2011, 06:59 AM	#17 (permalink)
Howell Groupie Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Canterbury Cathedral Posts: 49	My Uni's own newspaper, it just felt weird grabbing the head cheerleader's face and rubbing her imaculate face on my arse.....LAWL __________________ "You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me." - Zombieland

04-05-2011, 03:43 AM	#13 (permalink)
Paedantic Basterd Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 5,184	Good to see that the standard of conversation hasn't faltered in a month.

04-05-2011, 04:59 AM	#15 (permalink)
~~The Virgin~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Cebu, Philippines Posts: 677	leaves, and a bath towel, which by the way, is from my dormmate.

04-05-2011, 05:14 AM	#16 (permalink)
Howard the Duck Live by the Sword Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia Posts: 9,075	i used to have a colleague who was an indigenous Sarawakian aborigine - she said they use branches in the villages - she was cute, looked like a Malay but was actually Christian, i would intentionally brush against her my dad was having the runs in a forest, he went and used dried leaves but didn't wipe cleanly as there were snakes there

04-05-2011, 09:20 AM	#19 (permalink)
Howard the Duck Live by the Sword Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia Posts: 9,075	once in University, somebody scattered bits from a porn magazine on the floor, I used that for a lark

04-05-2011, 11:18 AM	#20 (permalink)
FRED HALE SR. Neo-Maxi-Zoom-Dweebie Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: So-Cal Posts: 3,752	Long trip at the desert turned bad. My bro lets call him Simon. Had his dog out with us on a long hike thru cactus and bushes that could cut your balls off. So my friend thinking hes got some paper towels with, drops trow and starts crapping a new planet on the ground. When he discovers hes outta paper towels calls his dog over to lick his ass no joke. While i find it vile i gotta give him points for stepping up and being innovative.