someonecompletelyrandom

Yet to have a band catch my interest.

jastrub

After starting out in their parent’s basement in Minneapolis, Sweet Georgia Breezes climbed to the top of the the indie rock scene in 2005 with their debut album, Modesty is for the Weak, which they released with a quasi-label(ish) outfit, “Gritty Urban Hip Nonconformist Art Genius Gritty Metropolitan Collective Art Cool Hip Art Intellectual Liberal Urban Liberal Art Collective Socialist Corporation Inc.”. The band’s latest album, Aching to Be, layers Jodichromey supergenius’s gritty hooks with jangling guitars to create a shoegazing wall of sound that somehow also evokes British Invasion pop-rock. Most critics, even their most powerful nay-sayers, will agree that their music is catchy and their technical proficiency is passable, at the very least. Their one hit single, “You Know You Want Some”, reached #27 for 2 weeks on the US Rock charts. After being asked to leave the aforementioned collective after being labelled as “anti-art sellouts”, they began to look for a new label. They are often considered to be gods by their fans and pretentious arrogant apathetic bastards to almost everybody else. Most critics would agree with music writer Harvey Oldey when he said “...Sweet Georgia Breezes’ music is thematically about both everything and nothing. It has no substance but manages to give the listener a sense of awe and power.” He also sums up their temperament very well in another article where he says “...they were almost as obnoxious in real life as their music would make them seem.”

jastrub

Any takers?

jastrub

The B*******s
The B*******s are a three-man group that crank out mostly novelty hits which are musical hybrids of pop, hip-hop, dance and funk. Their success, although usually not extending past middle-school boys, has been sweeping in their genre. Their ability to release consistently popular popular music memes, such as their infamous “B******* Bop” (yet another Cha-Cha Slide rip-off), has intrigued record labels since 1999, when they formed. They have only performed live once to this day, and their real identities are still a bit of a mystery. Their old record label, Krab Apple Records, signed confidentiality forms with them and thus are not allowed to disclose any information regarding their behavior or personal habits. However, regardless of their odd privacy policy, they continue to release high-selling party fodder. Granted, signing these guys will, your audio engineers warn you, “result in a drastic drop in cred... especially with the indie crowd.”

jastrub

Just to clear up any misconceptions, Band #4 are the b-a-s-s-h-o-l-e-s

someonecompletelyrandom

I'm really looking to sign someone more artistically credible. A brilliant singer-songwriter or a bluesman or something. String Dance Studios believes in signing people who'll live on through their music, even if they die before getting famous.

jastrub

I'll throw you a few bones tomorrow, Conan. But remember, this is supposed to be a light-hearted game, bordering on a total farse. Don't expect anything too life-changing.

someonecompletelyrandom

Right, I'm just kidding by the way

jastrub

Is anyone going to sign Sweet Georgia Breezes or the Bass-Holes?

someonecompletelyrandom

I'll audition Sweet Georgia Breezes.