Over 1000 Terms for Male Masturbation... What's yours?
 

So, apparently, someone had a lot of time on their hands... ;)

...And made this list.

"Beat the morning wood (like every good boy should)" is pretty awesome, so which term gets your attention?

Choke the sheriff and wait for the posse? What the hell? Whoever wrote that did a considerable amount of drugs beforehand.

"Go down to zipper mart to pick up a pound of pork" FTW.

Five-fingered humpty hump love pump

Fuck yeah :pimp:

Increase the surface temperature of the ship's primary cannon using rapid linear motion

:love:

Just plain old ''masturbating'' does it for me...it's simpler, and applies for both guys and girls...

i always thought drain the lizard meant he had to pee. whoops.

my #1 phrase would have to be...

Hitchhike to heaven

although answer the bone-a-phone would probly be 2nd or 3rd.

859 and 860 are the same thing, "Stroke the Salami."

I lol'ed at "Jizturbation."

I thought "Vote Republican" was an entertaining euphemism. Also: If someone actually ever says they're doing the "Five-fingered humpty hump love pump", they deserve to have to masturbate in lieu of actual sex.

The Irish term is "Interfering With Yourself", which probably gets the appeal across.

Ha that sounds really creepy. And think its funny that this thread only has guy imput or atlead i think(could definately be wrong). Damn the internet.

Jerkin' ya gerkin'!

No, I would agree it's a bit of a sausagefest.No harm in that.

Train the purple-headed warrior
Play with Pikachu
:rofl:
Personally I say wax yer carrot. Not too elaborate and serves well as a euphemism.

I thought "Whip up some baby batter" was pretty hilarious.

"Let Elvis leave the building"
Eww, although it gets a point for sheer oddness.