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Originally Posted by Vanilla
Vege don't you think that to call yourself a woman and not a girl is about maturity and how well you know and feel confident in yourself?
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Yes, I agree to an extent, not-a-girl-not-yet-a-woman!
Given that “girl” means someone who isn’t fully mature and confident, my question is this: why would a woman (age 18 or over) feel immature and unconfident about herself, and why would she feel she needs to express this by labeling herself as "girl," when she is physically a woman?
I feel culture sometimes encourages women to see themselves as girls and not as mature, capable women...and if women are encouraged to think this way, that probably means men are, too. Also, I feel we can acknowledge that we all sometimes feel immature and unconfident, regardless of age, without needing to label ourselves “girls” because of that.
My second issue with "girl,” Vanilla, revolves around what it means when OTHER people call women "girls." Like you said, "girl" has the connotation of "immature, unconfident." So, when I hear some man refer to an adult woman as a girl I will probably see the use of "girl" as subtly derogatory...or perhaps it emphasizes that he thinks of her as delicate and vulnerable, all the things “femininity” is supposed to include.
To me, calling a woman “girl” feels somewhat dismissive. If I heard some 40-year-old man refer to Hillary Clinton as a “girl,” I would assume he is right-wing and feels women shouldn't be "uppity," so he's taking out his anger at capable women by calling them girls.
Here’s a good explanation, I feel, of why calling women “girls” is dismissive of them. It mentions Jay Leno, too...so that relates to humor!
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Women’s Issues: oppression, verbal and physical abuse/battering, feminists
What’s so insulting about calling women "girls", "honey", and "babe"?
Would you call a man a boy? We all know what equivalent language is, i.e. ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, waitress and waiter, men and women. These terms are used to refer to both genders equally; they’re social and psychological equivalents. However, in our culture, we continue to refer to grown women as girls and grown men as men.
If you haven’t noticed, listen to people like news and radio broadcasters. Jay Leno, from The Tonight Show, introduces his female guests as such "my next guest, a beautiful and talented girl". A majority of the time, people refer to full grown women as girls. It’s not that they mean harm, are malicious, or disrespecting women. Not at all. Jay Leno is probably an excellent example of someone who is pro women’s rights.
The point is women have been oppressed (viewed and/or referred to as less) for so many years, this kind of language has become common and natural, like using good grammar. It’s hard to catch yourself calling women girls. Try it. This kind of unequivalent language becomes an unconscious psychological put-down, furthering the stagnancy of women’s full equality.
Honey and babe are disrespectful. They make women objects. They’re put-downs when used by strangers. If the world were socially controlled by women who dominated all politics and business, were paid more, and referred to men as boys, and Mrs. Leno said, "My next guest is a muscular and talented boy", I think the shoe would feel quite different. It’s called oppression.
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