The Fascinating Turnip

You asked:
Did you dream that somebody loved you, last night?
The Oracle replied:
Wait till we’re alone.
You asked:
We’re alone now, can I touch?
The Oracle replied:
Yeah.
You asked:
Your thighs are quite dry, have you ever tried using oil?
The Oracle replied:
Of course I have. I hope you believe what I say because it is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
You asked:
But they’re so dry...which brand?
The Oracle replied:
The one first in the alphabet.
You asked:
Ah, A?
The Oracle replied:
Let’s do something else. Are you dating someone?
You asked:
Can I date you?
The Oracle replied:
If you do, you will destroy a great empire
You asked:
What’s your breast size?
The Oracle replied:
Huge.
You asked:
Empire destroyed.
The Oracle replied:
*Smiles and nods*

dark shadow

Why do I like Kid Cudi?

Blame the government



errrrmmmm