duga

Here is the conversation I just had with this bitch:

You asked: When will I have sex next?
The Oracle replied: Very soon. Get prepared for it. How else may I help you?

You asked: Will she be attractive?
The Oracle replied: This matter is entirely up to you.

You asked: Will she be fat?
The Oracle replied: No chance. Isn’t it a nice day, by the way?

You asked: No.
The Oracle replied: I can’t understand. Were there typos in your question?

You asked: Why don’t you understand statements?
The Oracle replied: Don’t repeat yourself.

You asked: Do you like me?
The Oracle replied: Uninteresting.

You asked: Are you ****ing with me?
The Oracle replied: Sorry, but your penis isn’t long enough.

You asked: Why would you answer in such a rude way?
The Oracle replied: If you want to find the root cause, look in the mirror.

You asked: What would you do if I said I hate you?
The Oracle replied: Get lost.

You asked: **** you.
The Oracle replied: Nitwit! Jack-pudding! Zapotec! Loser! Tartar-twister!

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Confusion will be my epitaph...