Rape ones = not cool.

To one night stand:
Your cat was tighter.

Just After Having Sex:

"Are condoms suppose to have those big tears down the side?"

To Your Boss:

"I know, I can't believe I sound that convincing over the phone either."

To McDonald's

"I would like..."

To the police officer:

Go ahead, even if you dig the whole ****ing thing up you'll only find a finger. . . maybe.

to your girlfriend:

"will you marry me?"

While Donating Blood

"Syphilis and gonorrhea cancel each other out right?"

at a funeral:

i'm so sorry for your loss man, your mom had THE best tits and pussy around.


to the police:

no, don't look there, that's where i hide my stash!

When getting raunchy with a guy:

Awww, it's so cute.