The Official Joke Thread

[djchameleon]

Originally Posted by Whatsitoosit

hey DJ, best to check the entire thread before repeating already posted jokes... although that was a pretty good one, I didn't mind reading it twice

yeah well my version was better :P....better delivery anywho I'll try my other favorite go to joke(hopefully it hasn't been told yet)

One day this bartender looks at his floor as he is closing and decides that he wants to get a new floor. Over the next week or two he gets the floor done. As his regulars come in, he tells them about a new rule he has. He comes up with this rule to prevent his regulars from spitting on the new floor. All of the regulars that come into the bar must spit into a spittoon that is going to be placed outside of the entrance. If someone slips up and forgets then they will have to take a sip of whatever is inside of the spittoon.

Two months go by and a regular comes in. He hawks up a huge loogey and spits it on the floor. The bartender runs from behind the bar and gets the spittoon. He doesn't say anything to the regular and just proceeds to shove the spittoon in his direction. The regular says "Oh ****" as he remembers the rule. Everyone in the bar gathers around to watch what is about to take place. The regular puts the spittoon up to his face and slowly starts to sip on the spittoon that is half filled with different colored loogeys. He slowly glups as everyone in the bar is pretty much watching in disgust. The bartender says "whoa whoa whoa, you can stop now you only have to take a sip". The regular continues to up end the spittoon. He finally drops it to his side and it is now clearly empty.

The bartender says " WTF man didn't you know that you were only supposed to take a sip?"

The regular replies "I tried to but it was all in one strand"