The Official Joke Thread - Music Banter

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The Official Joke Thread

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Waynegrow The Official Joke Thread 01-12-2005, 12:34 AM

jibber kind of long, but pretty... 01-12-2005, 01:42 AM

jibber and here's another one: ... 01-12-2005, 01:44 AM

blackTshirt i wanted to say the hippie... 01-12-2005, 02:14 AM

blackTshirt ok, maybe you know this one,... 01-12-2005, 02:18 AM

jibber haha, yeah I've heard the... 01-12-2005, 02:20 AM

Waynegrow This one not that funny but i... 01-12-2005, 03:46 AM

[MERIT] whats good about an irish... 01-12-2005, 08:11 AM

Fenixpunk how do you get a one armed... 01-12-2005, 10:03 AM

Waynegrow Hahahahahah^^^^^those are... 01-12-2005, 05:36 PM

someonecompletelyrandom Tell a joke 03-26-2009, 06:03 PM

anticipation what do you call ten thousand... 03-26-2009, 06:19 PM

someonecompletelyrandom I'm not sure whether to laugh... 03-26-2009, 06:42 PM

LoathsomePete I would say offended, i mean... 03-26-2009, 07:05 PM

Schredds hahahha, thats ****in... 03-26-2009, 08:43 PM

someonecompletelyrandom Oh thats messed up! 03-26-2009, 07:07 PM

Schredds whats better that 4 roses on... 03-26-2009, 08:45 PM

Alfred Answer "addicted" to all of... 03-26-2009, 08:47 PM

LoathsomePete If Jack were to help you off... 03-26-2009, 10:50 PM

SATCHMO If I washed my c0ck would you... 03-26-2009, 10:55 PM

Antonio what's the strongest muscle... 03-26-2009, 11:00 PM

Surell I like the emphasis on dick... 03-26-2009, 11:56 PM

Bane of your existence My dick need no introduction... 03-27-2009, 12:25 AM

jackhammer I asked a girl once where was... 03-27-2009, 04:22 AM

someonecompletelyrandom I should have known this... 03-27-2009, 01:41 PM

Surell Why do so many people... 03-27-2009, 01:48 PM

dhayespw :rofl: 03-27-2009, 01:53 PM

Bane of your existence I think you fucked this joke... 04-01-2009, 05:27 PM

Surell Thank you sirrr. 03-27-2009, 02:06 PM

dhayespw And I have lived in OK for 13... 03-27-2009, 02:32 PM

Surell I'm glad it was a factual... 03-27-2009, 02:56 PM

jackhammer A man goes into a library and... 03-27-2009, 02:08 PM

Surell lawlzorz. 03-27-2009, 02:13 PM

Surell I told that joke somewhere... 03-30-2009, 07:57 PM

jackhammer Take your best shot kid :) 03-31-2009, 12:25 PM

Alfred How does a hillbilly find his... 03-27-2009, 02:12 PM

someonecompletelyrandom Hahahahahaha!!... gross. ... 03-27-2009, 02:42 PM

jackhammer A little boy said to his dad... 03-30-2009, 04:25 AM

SATCHMO How many rudeboys does it... 03-30-2009, 04:31 AM

Schredds What the hardest part about... 03-30-2009, 05:35 AM

spark10036 I have one...this is old... 03-30-2009, 05:34 PM

right-track I heard this one today.... 03-31-2009, 02:03 PM

NSW A guy scurries into the... 03-31-2009, 02:06 PM

Surell Those jokes are just wayyyyy... 03-31-2009, 10:42 PM

someonecompletelyrandom Puns are the ****! 04-01-2009, 09:05 AM

333 Why did the plane crash? ... 04-01-2009, 11:52 AM

Freebase Dali Knock Knock. Who's there?... 04-01-2009, 03:46 PM

NSW I taught my friend's 6 year... 04-01-2009, 04:56 PM

333 What did the hat say to the... 04-01-2009, 08:13 PM

kthedrummer How can you spot a blind guy... 04-01-2009, 08:18 PM

Freebase Dali Lawl. That's funny. It's... 04-01-2009, 08:27 PM

coryallen2 The official joke thread 03-27-2009, 06:17 AM

coryallen2 Bob is in the army. After 4... 03-27-2009, 06:18 AM

coryallen2 I though this one was... 03-27-2009, 06:19 AM

coryallen2 During a ride in a taxi, the... 03-27-2009, 06:22 AM

crash_override I liked this one. 7/10 03-27-2009, 12:14 PM

coryallen2 This is how the new stimulus... 03-27-2009, 06:24 AM

ElephantSack How did the farmer win an... 03-28-2009, 01:28 AM

Antonio a baby seal walked into a... 03-28-2009, 01:39 AM

intrapolis Cheers to that sir. 04-30-2009, 10:26 AM

ElephantSack A little boy stumbles into... 03-28-2009, 02:02 AM

Antonio the post above me is win 03-28-2009, 02:05 AM

[c.r.a.z.y] these jokes are hilariouss!... 04-22-2009, 04:49 PM

Surell Why wasn't the priest... 03-28-2009, 02:09 AM

Alfred Because he was too busy... 03-28-2009, 07:00 PM

Surell Ahh, he was all sleepy and... 03-28-2009, 07:26 PM

SydMM A girl and her mom are... 03-28-2009, 05:44 PM

thisWARisours Lemme just say, that was... 04-18-2009, 01:40 AM

FaSho What does a penguin drink out... 03-28-2009, 06:01 PM

333 What do you call a fish with... 03-28-2009, 07:08 PM

henry A guy walked into a bar. 03-31-2009, 06:05 PM

Surell LOLLLLL. good one though. 03-31-2009, 08:26 PM

under A child goes to his mother... 03-31-2009, 09:22 PM

henry i dont get it 03-31-2009, 09:47 PM

Terrible Lizard Two vampires walk into a bar,... 03-31-2009, 09:54 PM

LoathsomePete Dude that's friggin nasty, i... 03-31-2009, 10:31 PM

Terrible Lizard *spews drink over self* ... 03-31-2009, 10:44 PM

Surell D: That's fucking awful! 03-31-2009, 10:49 PM

LoathsomePete That's a pretty anorexic... 03-31-2009, 11:19 PM

neverasitseems Yeah, so obviously I'm new... 01-05-2012, 09:18 PM

henry hahaha 03-31-2009, 10:08 PM

midnight rain Dear Hipster Record Store... 03-31-2009, 10:45 PM

Terrible Lizard :( Now I feel like a... 03-31-2009, 11:24 PM

Surell I'm not denying that that was... 03-31-2009, 11:34 PM

LoathsomePete My lesbian neighbors gave me... 04-01-2009, 09:10 AM

Bronxo lol at that vampire one.... 04-14-2009, 07:53 AM

savannah a termite walks into a bar... 04-01-2009, 11:55 AM

Whatsitoosit Ham sandwich walks into a... 04-01-2009, 12:10 PM

Whatsitoosit A black kid says, "Mom, I... 04-01-2009, 12:12 PM

Whatsitoosit one day on the construction... 04-01-2009, 12:18 PM

LoathsomePete how do you make a sausage... 04-01-2009, 12:19 PM

Surell I love the simplicity! 04-01-2009, 10:26 PM

Whatsitoosit Three widows are discussing... 04-01-2009, 12:23 PM

Whatsitoosit Ok, I heard this one when I... 04-01-2009, 12:38 PM

ElephantSack How many feminists does it... 04-01-2009, 08:50 PM

ElephantSack Jesus Christ walks into a... 04-01-2009, 08:51 PM

ElephantSack Why did the gay necrophiliacs... 04-01-2009, 08:53 PM

Schredds Oh god, hahaha, thats... 04-01-2009, 09:22 PM

Terrible Lizard What's the difference between... 04-01-2009, 10:31 PM

Surell http://4gifs.com/gallery/d/548... 04-01-2009, 10:34 PM

Freebase Dali Hahahaha... That picture has... 04-01-2009, 10:39 PM

Surell I dunno, but jj.am has all... 04-01-2009, 10:44 PM

ElephantSack That's a new one. Damn! ... 04-02-2009, 12:04 PM

Whatsitoosit Weak and overall not funny,... 04-02-2009, 12:32 PM

Piss Me Off Dead Baby jokes are ooooold.... 04-02-2009, 12:38 PM

Whatsitoosit if by "old" you mean "never... 04-02-2009, 12:43 PM

Terrible Lizard Dumb was the point, don't be... 04-02-2009, 04:21 PM

Whatsitoosit I thought funny was the... 04-03-2009, 10:31 AM

Terrible Lizard Aaaah go **** a sewer gator.... 04-03-2009, 03:31 PM

Freebase Dali So a blind man walks into a... 04-02-2009, 05:06 PM

SATCHMO A man who just died is... 04-03-2009, 06:21 AM

Janszoon :laughing: 04-04-2009, 02:59 PM

coryallen2 ^lol (this thread is more... 04-03-2009, 06:22 AM

FaSho That was a good one TL! 04-04-2009, 02:27 PM

CAPTAIN CAVEMAN what did one lesbian vampire... 04-04-2009, 03:18 PM

Surell :whythis: 04-04-2009, 10:57 PM

CAPTAIN CAVEMAN spoiler... 04-04-2009, 10:58 PM

Surell No sir that's not what I... 04-04-2009, 11:03 PM

Freebase Dali On Christmas morning a cop on... 04-04-2009, 11:27 PM

Whatsitoosit so you guys will laugh at... 04-06-2009, 10:20 AM

Terrible Lizard Ouch, if you wish for a... 04-08-2009, 07:39 PM

More replies below current depth...

djchameleon Well I'm going to tell one of... 04-06-2009, 02:42 PM

Whatsitoosit hey DJ, best to check the... 04-06-2009, 02:46 PM

djchameleon yeah well my version was... 04-12-2009, 01:58 PM

ElephantSack Damn man, brutal. Okay. ... 04-12-2009, 05:54 PM

More replies below current depth...

ElephantSack What's the difference between... 04-07-2009, 12:31 AM

Scarlett O\'Hara I don't know how funny this... 04-07-2009, 07:31 PM

Freebase Dali Let me help you out... It... 04-07-2009, 08:10 PM

spark10036 http://www.stitthappens.com/im... 04-07-2009, 07:37 PM

Surell <object width="425"... 04-07-2009, 10:44 PM

Janszoon :laughing: 04-07-2009, 10:46 PM

CAPTAIN CAVEMAN i actually lol'd 04-07-2009, 10:47 PM

Surell Yeah, it's a real good... 04-07-2009, 10:58 PM

Freebase Dali Yea I saw the whole Bear... 04-08-2009, 12:43 AM

Thrice I give props to them all. You... 04-08-2009, 12:47 AM

Freebase Dali Dude, I'm pretty sure you... 04-08-2009, 12:50 AM

Thrice Ha ha ha a blackberry! ... 04-08-2009, 12:56 AM

Janszoon Man, I like Survivorman way... 04-08-2009, 01:26 AM

WWWP QFT.... 04-08-2009, 11:40 AM

More replies below current depth...

WWWP From what I've seen of Bear's... 04-08-2009, 03:24 PM

Freebase Dali True, and I guess ordinary... 04-08-2009, 03:37 PM

Janszoon Heh. One of the funniest ones... 04-08-2009, 07:58 PM

spark10036 he sucks!!! but the Bear is... 04-08-2009, 08:01 PM

ElephantSack Well, it will be some... 04-09-2009, 06:39 PM

midnight rain I always liked Survivorman,... 04-09-2009, 06:15 PM

spark10036 Bear Grylls, host of Ultimate... 04-10-2009, 07:34 PM

ElephantSack But enough about all that. ... 04-09-2009, 06:44 PM

Thrice ha ha hah aahaha. My... 04-09-2009, 11:19 PM

clockworkmice What's the difference between... 04-10-2009, 03:36 AM

More replies below current depth...

ElephantSack How do you get four ***s on a... 04-11-2009, 11:53 AM

Freebase Dali Know what NASA stands for? ... 04-12-2009, 01:42 PM

Terrible Lizard A guy breaks into a house to... 04-16-2009, 06:52 PM

Meph1986 So there are two deaf... 04-16-2009, 08:41 PM

gunnels How would that work if... 04-16-2009, 08:50 PM

Freebase Dali Closed captioning sponsored... 04-17-2009, 03:06 AM

Bella! The IRS decides to audit... 04-17-2009, 08:34 AM

Thrice A joke just like that which... 04-20-2009, 04:53 PM

ElephantSack That's a pretty good one. 04-18-2009, 01:07 AM

jackhammer I was at my girlfriend's... 04-18-2009, 10:37 AM

Zer0 A man dies and goes to hell.... 04-20-2009, 04:00 PM

ElephantSack Little Jennifer is 6 years... 04-20-2009, 05:12 PM

The Monkey Who will win if two chavs are... 04-21-2009, 12:34 PM

Zer0 How do you stop a chav from... 04-21-2009, 02:31 PM

ElephantSack Why does Mike Tyson cry... 04-21-2009, 02:46 PM

coryallen2 Are'nt "chavs" like the... 04-22-2009, 08:03 AM

Strat HD Whats the good thing about... 04-22-2009, 08:17 AM

Zer0 Erm... close enough. The chav... 04-22-2009, 03:25 PM

Zachary Lewis Why won't tampons talk to me?... 04-22-2009, 03:53 PM

WWWP I luld. 04-24-2009, 01:12 PM

Surell It is a pretty swell joke. 04-24-2009, 02:08 PM

ElephantSack How many babies does it take... 04-22-2009, 03:55 PM

Zachary Lewis What has eight legs and makes... 04-22-2009, 04:00 PM

ElephantSack What's the worst thing about... 04-22-2009, 04:11 PM

Zer0 How do you stop a baby from... 04-24-2009, 05:56 AM

Zachary Lewis Why does Micheal Jackson like... 04-24-2009, 08:01 AM

jackhammer In a recent survey into blow... 04-24-2009, 10:24 AM

Surell Baby abuse jokes are in no... 04-24-2009, 01:09 PM

Roemilca I hate these baby jokes, and... 04-24-2009, 02:01 PM

Freebase Dali If there are people laughing,... 04-24-2009, 02:17 PM

ElephantSack Hey man, everybody's got... 04-25-2009, 06:56 AM

Freebase Dali :yikes: I'm offended. 04-25-2009, 02:13 PM

polyphonic me too man. hats have no... 05-14-2009, 03:58 PM

Whatsitoosit You're comical... does that... 04-24-2009, 02:01 PM

anticipation An Englishman, a Chinaman, a... 04-24-2009, 02:38 PM

ElephantSack I've got a joke like that,... 04-25-2009, 06:48 AM

Roemilca A blonde sits down next to an... 04-24-2009, 02:40 PM

Freebase Dali Meh... 04-24-2009, 02:47 PM

SATCHMO How many indie kids does it... 04-26-2009, 11:24 PM

ElephantSack The American version: How... 04-28-2009, 06:28 PM

Zachary Lewis Why is The Bible like a... 04-27-2009, 01:21 AM

Whatsitoosit can we please stop with the... 04-27-2009, 09:53 AM

Freebase Dali I lolzed. 04-27-2009, 01:54 PM

ElephantSack I'm.. so.. sorry. I...... 04-28-2009, 06:26 PM

Zachary Lewis I hate pedophiles. They're... 04-29-2009, 08:38 AM

Whatsitoosit does anybody really ever love... 04-29-2009, 08:55 AM

coryallen2 Yeah I love... 04-29-2009, 08:58 AM

Freebase Dali I don't think you fully... 04-29-2009, 11:05 AM

Whatsitoosit DOH!!!!! ok sorry, good one :) 04-29-2009, 11:46 AM

Zachary Lewis A pie factory exploded in... 04-29-2009, 12:02 PM

ElephantSack nice 05-06-2009, 09:20 PM

Whatsitoosit the first one was better. 04-29-2009, 02:21 PM

Zachary Lewis A midget was pickpocketed in... 04-29-2009, 02:42 PM

Whatsitoosit I rank this #2 of the 3. 04-30-2009, 08:00 AM

coryallen2 HEY GUYS! Is it rude if a... 04-30-2009, 08:00 AM

Whatsitoosit depends, if it's a female...... 04-30-2009, 09:51 AM

coryallen2 Lol 04-30-2009, 09:57 AM

SATCHMO Once in a land far, far away... 04-30-2009, 01:08 PM

Terrible Lizard I marvel at the genius of it. 04-30-2009, 07:51 PM

NSW It was once said that a black... 05-01-2009, 07:34 AM

coryallen2 LOL put a little smile on my... 05-01-2009, 07:37 AM

Zachary Lewis Speaking of Swine Flu, it... 05-01-2009, 08:07 AM

coryallen2 Gaha! 05-01-2009, 08:08 AM

ElephantSack A man comes home to find his... 05-06-2009, 09:26 PM

WWWP Once upon a time, sleepy... 05-07-2009, 05:03 PM

Antonio pssssssssssssssst BURN! 05-07-2009, 05:05 PM

sweet_nothing This is the only part I liked. 05-07-2009, 05:11 PM

ElephantSack how long is an asian name? 05-07-2009, 08:12 PM

CAPTAIN CAVEMAN ? 05-07-2009, 08:18 PM

ElephantSack it is. 05-10-2009, 06:15 AM

CAPTAIN CAVEMAN oh... duh at first i... 05-10-2009, 05:09 PM

NSW Ha!...days later and I just... 05-10-2009, 09:59 AM

mickymusic69 My friend has caught swine... 05-09-2009, 07:57 PM

SpikeUM I still don't get that one. :/ 05-10-2009, 04:52 PM

coryallen2 (Insert facepalm here) 05-10-2009, 04:53 PM

Antonio a guy starts hearing a voice... 05-10-2009, 05:08 PM

SpikeUM Thats what I was thinking. 05-10-2009, 05:11 PM

ElephantSack ^Get your minds outta the... 05-11-2009, 10:49 AM

coryallen2 LOL. I think they like asain... 05-11-2009, 10:49 AM

Syffuf25 I know a good joke, womens... 05-12-2009, 11:42 AM

ElephantSack What to call a guy with no... 05-13-2009, 02:58 PM

Freebase Dali In a whirlpool? Eddie. 05-13-2009, 08:04 PM

Antonio nice^ 05-13-2009, 03:00 PM

SATCHMO A young monk arrives at the... 05-17-2009, 03:28 AM

Antonio ahahahahahahaha^ 05-17-2009, 12:51 PM

333 In a monastery on the west... 05-17-2009, 06:30 PM

SATCHMO My wife was hinting about... 05-20-2009, 12:37 AM

Unrelenting So a guy is getting a present... 05-20-2009, 10:37 AM

NSW Irish Reunion Two men were... 05-20-2009, 10:57 AM

polyphonic The Freudian Slip 05-20-2009, 03:58 PM

More replies below current depth...

polyphonic Still Funny! 11-08-2009, 04:06 PM

jackhammer A girl at work said to me... 06-11-2009, 12:50 PM

FETCHER. haha, a liked that one. 10-21-2009, 11:55 AM

Whatsitoosit Good stuff, keep em coming... 06-11-2009, 02:45 PM

Zer0 If you're American going into... 07-29-2009, 05:06 PM

sambo What do you do when the dish... 07-29-2009, 11:53 PM

ElephantSack A Blonde goes into a library,... 08-01-2009, 08:59 AM

NSW A husband and wife are... 10-07-2009, 12:33 PM

Ride The Walrus Two cows standing in a field... 10-08-2009, 11:00 AM

LoathsomePete What do Terry Fox and Adolf... 10-08-2009, 01:36 PM

Odyshape this one made me cry a little... 10-26-2009, 03:15 AM

storymilo A truck driver crashes into a... 10-08-2009, 07:43 PM

Notveryskilled My joke Kiddo, You got it... 11-07-2009, 07:41 AM

Zer0 3 blonde girls find a magic... 10-21-2009, 08:01 AM

TyrantSong This may have been done... 10-21-2009, 10:32 AM

Necromancer I heard that Obama could lose... 10-28-2009, 07:18 PM

EDGE .. Grade a thread. 10-30-2009, 05:22 PM

ElephantSack This is possibly the most... 11-02-2009, 03:44 PM

Notveryskilled Also here's a joke. Why... 11-07-2009, 07:43 AM

RWS A guy walked into a bar.... 11-10-2009, 11:23 PM

weblgend A fat man try to ask a woman... 11-11-2009, 01:10 AM

Yon Troper A ninety-year-old man walks... 11-12-2009, 03:29 AM

ElephantSack That reminds me of this old... 11-12-2009, 09:35 AM

Bobina Here is a joke, but not... 02-25-2010, 09:30 AM

TheBig3 What do you use to make... 02-25-2010, 09:39 AM

DandB HAHA That's a good one. 02-25-2010, 09:46 AM

Sansa Stark Why did Crass break up? They... 02-25-2010, 10:16 AM

noise what's brown and sticky? ... 02-25-2010, 10:17 AM

Shake A koala was sitting in a gum... 02-25-2010, 10:39 AM

Freebase Dali :laughing: That's awesome. 02-25-2010, 12:07 PM

mr dave hahahah nice this one is... 02-26-2010, 02:12 PM

stormjh Why did Mowgli get lost? ... 02-26-2010, 06:57 AM

ElephantSack I have a truly vile and... 02-27-2010, 02:11 AM

Neapolitan What happens when two snails... 01-07-2011, 10:03 PM

CAPTAIN CAVEMAN why do penguins carry fish in... 02-27-2010, 03:13 AM

stormjh If you are a fan of one... 02-27-2010, 08:33 AM

Bloozcrooz Little johnny get a new plane... 01-06-2011, 03:53 PM

Dayvan Cowboy wut? 01-09-2011, 07:38 AM

baxter great read some absolute... 01-08-2011, 01:40 PM

djchameleon One of my favorite go to... 01-09-2011, 12:15 AM

poppie here is one, i came home... 01-09-2011, 07:32 AM

James Have you heard the joke about... 01-09-2011, 09:24 AM

Alfred Two menonite women, Edith and... 01-09-2011, 10:02 AM

poppie One day Little Johnny is in... 01-09-2011, 04:02 PM

Zer0 An Irishman, and Englishman,... 01-09-2011, 04:36 PM

khfreek One I made up: What do you... 01-09-2011, 11:40 PM

poppie TEACHER: Maria, go to the... 01-12-2011, 08:32 AM

poppie The young Indian boy had... 01-15-2011, 02:36 PM

poppie Celebrity Gas Have you... 01-19-2011, 01:05 PM

poppie I drink 01-23-2011, 05:48 PM

The Batlord Last summer I was on a pirate... 01-29-2011, 12:15 PM

Thom Yorke Q: Did you hear what happened... 02-02-2011, 06:25 PM

The Batlord :laughing: Oh god, that's so... 02-03-2011, 10:33 AM

ThePhanastasio Q: How many hipsters does it... 02-02-2011, 11:27 PM

djchameleon rofl I really like that one. 02-08-2011, 02:31 AM

Thom Yorke Q: What do you call a Middle... 02-03-2011, 12:49 AM

Zer0 I love anti-jokes What do... 02-08-2011, 02:29 AM

ThePhanastasio :laughing: That reminds me... 02-08-2011, 02:31 AM

Zer0 Awww that's just mean :D ... 02-08-2011, 02:35 AM

Thom Yorke Ya I love them. It's just one... 02-19-2011, 10:39 PM

Dirty As an airplane is about to... 02-08-2011, 02:52 AM

Howard the Duck this thread is so long so I'm... 02-08-2011, 05:05 AM

The Batlord The kids of Ms. Johnson's... 02-08-2011, 11:43 AM

Phantom Limb Women's rights. 02-15-2011, 04:10 PM

djchameleon so simple yet effective. I... 02-15-2011, 05:16 PM

BobLobLaw What's the difference between... 02-19-2011, 12:27 PM

Wayfarer Really? C'mon, holocaust... 04-01-2011, 02:28 PM

Thom Yorke A bear woke up from his... 02-19-2011, 10:43 PM

Thom Yorke I'm sure this has been... 02-19-2011, 10:54 PM

PaperClip

Connair Here's a Joke. 02-22-2011, 11:12 AM

6underground What's the worst thing you... 02-22-2011, 11:20 AM

djchameleon How do you make Lady Gaga... 03-03-2011, 04:18 AM

TheBig3 So these two fish are sitting... 03-03-2011, 09:41 PM

djchameleon :rofl: 03-04-2011, 04:15 AM

James went to HMV and got Prince's... 03-04-2011, 09:55 AM

The Batlord :rofl:Oh god that's so... 03-04-2011, 11:27 AM

TheBig3 wow...also, you still have... 03-04-2011, 10:21 AM

James There are less by the day.... 03-04-2011, 12:21 PM

FETCHER. I love HMV! What kind of... 03-04-2011, 12:26 PM

James If I need a cd in town, I go... 03-04-2011, 12:45 PM

FETCHER. Couldn't even tell you where... 03-04-2011, 12:47 PM

James :O Next to the train station. 03-04-2011, 12:58 PM

FETCHER. Which one, central, argyll or... 03-04-2011, 01:08 PM

James Touche. Queen street, just up... 03-04-2011, 01:30 PM

Zer0 The results of staying up... 03-11-2011, 06:19 AM

Howard the Duck this is a homphobic one I... 03-11-2011, 06:51 PM

[MERIT] A man went to the city office... 03-19-2011, 02:23 PM

Thom Yorke Things that are difficult to... 03-19-2011, 02:45 PM

simplephysics ^ Haha, all so very, very... 03-19-2011, 04:47 PM

highoctane93 If you yelled for 8 years, 7... 03-22-2011, 08:40 AM

highoctane93 OK = ats aww-right cancel =... 03-22-2011, 10:52 AM

Thom Yorke Random one-liners ... 03-22-2011, 05:02 PM

The Virgin :clap: 03-23-2011, 05:44 AM

Thom Yorke More random one-liners: I... 03-23-2011, 03:14 PM

Thom Yorke 26 reasons why a dog is... 03-29-2011, 11:53 PM

Thom Yorke There are 3 things in life... 03-29-2011, 11:54 PM

Ghost What do you call a xenophobic... 04-18-2011, 10:05 PM

Scarlett O\'Hara This may have already been... 04-21-2011, 03:00 AM

Mojo ^Hehe, I haven't heard that... 04-21-2011, 03:12 AM

Scarlett O\'Hara I think this is the first... 04-21-2011, 03:16 AM

Zer0 What's large, black and... 05-03-2011, 12:52 PM

djchameleon Not Funny :( 05-04-2011, 12:14 AM

highoctane93 decided to burn lots of... 05-05-2011, 09:49 AM

TerryTaplin a few funny jokes 06-24-2011, 06:41 AM

TerryTaplin Q. What's worse than getting... 06-24-2011, 06:42 AM

TerryTaplin Q. Did you hear about the... 06-24-2011, 06:43 AM

The Virgin Mother: Honey, where are you... 06-24-2011, 06:55 AM

djchameleon if you have any other jokes,... 06-24-2011, 09:08 AM

Urban Hat€monger ? I doubt he does now that he... 06-24-2011, 09:12 AM

[MERIT] What do a man who is sexually... 06-24-2011, 06:02 PM

richie1 Now THAT was funny! 06-24-2011, 06:15 PM

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The Monkey What do you call a white... 01-07-2012, 07:16 AM

FETCHER. What's the difference between... 01-15-2012, 03:07 PM

Frownland People with a Cockney accent... 02-01-2012, 04:40 PM

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someonecompletelyrandom :laughing: 02-04-2012, 08:20 AM

Thom Yorke "That which does not kill me... 02-07-2012, 09:43 PM

Piotr_13 What do you get when you... 02-12-2012, 05:22 AM

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ThePhanastasio In very poor taste, but... ... 02-19-2012, 04:29 PM

Bloozcrooz Thats morbidly hilarious!!! 02-19-2012, 04:33 PM

Howard the Duck i've already posted that some... 02-19-2012, 06:44 PM

Bloozcrooz Oh...its a long story man but... 02-19-2012, 07:05 PM

Lisnaholic Hey! It`s good to see that... 02-19-2012, 04:50 PM

Bloozcrooz Hey Lisnaholic! Good to see... 02-19-2012, 04:59 PM

Lisnaholic Glad you liked it - one of... 02-19-2012, 05:08 PM

Bloozcrooz End of the year excitment... 02-19-2012, 05:11 PM

Frownland Everyone feels sorry for... 02-19-2012, 06:42 PM

iluvwubs What's pink and covered in... 03-14-2012, 05:11 PM

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Vertigo A politician is door-to-door... 05-30-2012, 05:07 AM

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indiebabe092 heyy!! im irish! not fair! ... 06-01-2012, 07:33 AM

ElephantSack What does a Jewish pederast... 06-01-2012, 12:53 PM

Thom Yorke :laughing: 08-12-2012, 10:04 PM

5[0Rp!0 Ask someone: "What's perfect... 08-12-2012, 04:02 AM

appleghost Made one up. And it's pretty... 08-12-2012, 04:57 AM

5[0Rp!0 Did you hear about the... 08-12-2012, 05:21 AM

Howard the Duck what happens when you throw a... 08-12-2012, 05:30 AM

Urban Hat€monger ? http://www.sternfannetwork.com... 08-31-2012, 11:45 AM

Howard the Duck what is the difference... 08-31-2012, 06:20 PM

Urban Hat€monger ? A guy walks into a photo... 08-31-2012, 06:30 PM

Freebase Dali :laughing::clap: 08-31-2012, 10:50 PM

Frownland A blonde orders a grapefruit... 08-31-2012, 11:29 PM

Freebase Dali When you're using a garden... 02-11-2013, 05:32 PM

PoorOldPo ...................... 02-11-2013, 08:37 PM

FETCHER. I would use this over and... 02-13-2013, 10:55 AM

FETCHER. Dunno if I've posted this. ... 02-13-2013, 10:59 AM

Plankton I was at the bar the other... 02-20-2013, 11:36 AM

LoathsomePete :laughing: that's bloody... 02-20-2013, 12:55 PM

stanley lambchop i apologise in advance but, ... 02-20-2013, 05:34 PM

Frownland A woman is trying to smoke a... 02-20-2013, 08:58 PM

Stephen What the hell makes Hugo so... 05-18-2013, 03:53 AM

Freebase Dali Hugo?!?!? 05-25-2013, 10:07 PM

Janszoon :confused: 05-26-2013, 05:49 AM

Saurus I'm going to go with short,... 05-25-2013, 09:51 PM

Neapolitan Is it why "can't you bear" or... 05-25-2013, 10:36 PM

Saurus 'hear.' whoops. edited it... 05-26-2013, 12:30 PM

Justthefacts A child molester and a little... 05-26-2013, 12:49 PM

ThePhanastasio Some corny nonsense. Why... 05-25-2013, 11:41 PM

Stephen Halt! Hugo's there. 05-26-2013, 06:20 AM

Janszoon *groan* I think that joke... 05-26-2013, 07:39 AM

Jabonator What's the difference between... 05-26-2013, 12:07 PM

Sansa Stark lmao that's so wrong 05-26-2013, 12:09 PM

The Batlord Why'd the little boy drop his... 05-28-2013, 09:08 AM

Joekie A piece of string walks into... 05-28-2013, 10:04 AM

Plankton Some people are like... 05-28-2013, 10:20 AM

Cuthbert - When I was a kid, people... 10-19-2013, 01:53 PM

Sansa Stark I retweeted this not long ago... 11-18-2013, 11:05 AM

GD Here's one I made up myself,... 11-18-2013, 12:16 PM

Sansa Stark Only two of his wives were... 11-18-2013, 12:34 PM

GD Yea, I know. But if you got... 11-18-2013, 12:40 PM

Sansa Stark some guy =/= King of England 11-18-2013, 12:45 PM

GD All the more reason to be... 11-18-2013, 12:49 PM

LennyComa A man walks into a bank and... 11-26-2013, 08:56 AM

dreadman Two hundered years ago, by a... 11-26-2013, 12:36 PM

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The Batlord Dude...what? 11-30-2013, 08:58 AM

djchameleon :rofl: I thought I was the... 11-30-2013, 05:38 PM

Paul Smeenus I heard the same thing, 'cept... 11-30-2013, 05:43 PM

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Powerstars Wanna hear a Metallica joke?... 12-07-2013, 09:59 AM

The Batlord That's very black humor. 12-07-2013, 10:01 AM

butthead aka 216 on a cross country trip, an... 12-07-2013, 03:18 PM

Cuthbert You'll like this 216, old... 12-09-2013, 12:13 AM

The Batlord :laughing: 12-09-2013, 09:39 AM

GOATPOP What's the difference between... 12-09-2013, 12:33 AM

Frownland Speaking from auto-observed... 12-09-2013, 01:00 AM

GOATPOP hadta make room for the... 12-09-2013, 01:15 AM

Cuthbert A man walks into a bar, and... 12-11-2013, 01:43 PM

The Batlord That's the longest anti-joke... 12-12-2013, 01:24 PM

RL Clown Seriously, I'm not going to... 07-19-2015, 10:17 AM

Bane of your existence Three logicians are all in... 12-11-2013, 10:58 PM

Frownland I'm pretty sure that jokes... 07-19-2015, 01:13 PM

RL Clown Well, hopefully, these two... 07-20-2015, 03:23 PM

DwnWthVwls Mary with the cherry :D 07-31-2015, 07:25 AM

innerspaceboy Knock Knock. Who's there?... 08-21-2016, 02:40 PM

innerspaceboy Knock Knock. Who's there?... 08-21-2016, 02:45 PM

Key http://replygif.net/thumbnail/... 08-21-2016, 04:20 PM

Frownland I've heard the Glass one, the... 08-21-2016, 04:24 PM

Key I don't get either of them.... 08-21-2016, 04:25 PM

innerspaceboy Thanks! I made it up after... 08-21-2016, 04:27 PM

Frownland Philip Glass makes minimalism... 08-21-2016, 04:29 PM

grindy Knock Knock. Who's there?... 08-21-2016, 04:27 PM

The Batlord . 08-21-2016, 04:29 PM

innerspaceboy Love it! Keep these coming! 08-21-2016, 04:30 PM

Key I still don't get it. 08-21-2016, 04:33 PM

The Batlord Jimmy Paige makes a lot of... 08-21-2016, 04:36 PM

Key That's just funny on it's own... 08-21-2016, 04:36 PM

Frownland *Jimi Paige You ****ing... 08-21-2016, 04:36 PM

Frownland The knock knock jokes are... 08-21-2016, 04:34 PM

The Batlord Knock knock. Who's there?... 08-21-2016, 04:37 PM

Frownland Knock knock Who's there?... 08-22-2016, 12:18 PM

innerspaceboy LOVE IT! k k k k k... 08-22-2016, 01:10 PM

Plankton Come on in! SRV 08-22-2016, 12:21 PM

DwnWthVwls My wife was gang raped by a... 08-22-2016, 07:06 PM

Key :clap: 08-22-2016, 07:08 PM

The Batlord http://rs990.pbsrc.com/albums/... 08-22-2016, 09:09 PM

grindy I am standing in a room... 08-22-2016, 09:58 PM

Frownland I'm calling it: minimalist... 08-22-2016, 10:00 PM

innerspaceboy :clap: My biggest laugh of... 08-22-2016, 10:12 PM

Key Lets hope not. 08-22-2016, 10:17 PM

grindy It doesn't get any nerdier. 08-22-2016, 10:16 PM

Frownland . 08-22-2016, 10:28 PM

grindy Almost as good as the Cage... 08-22-2016, 10:30 PM

Frownland That one was especially nerdy... 08-22-2016, 10:33 PM

Key None of these jokes are funny... 08-22-2016, 10:38 PM

Blank. thank you!!!!! 08-22-2016, 10:39 PM

Frownland Fine here's a music joke you... 08-22-2016, 10:40 PM

Blank. Still not funny... This... 08-22-2016, 10:42 PM

Key Now this is a joke. 08-22-2016, 10:44 PM

More replies below current depth...

Frownland It's funny because Ki likes... 08-22-2016, 10:46 PM

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innerspaceboy (Knock Knock) Who's there?... 08-22-2016, 10:56 PM

Blank. That was a let down. 08-22-2016, 11:00 PM

Frownland Nananaknock... 08-22-2016, 11:04 PM

Blank. I was hoping for Josh Homme. 08-22-2016, 11:07 PM

Frownland It's a joke I stole from this... 08-22-2016, 11:08 PM

Blank. Knock knock Who's there? ... 08-22-2016, 11:17 PM

Key Knock knock Knock ... 08-22-2016, 11:05 PM

Frownland Knock knocking on my ding... 08-22-2016, 11:07 PM

Frownland Knock knock Knock knock ... 08-22-2016, 11:18 PM

Blank. Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk... 08-22-2016, 11:21 PM

Frownland K. 1234 knoooooooooooock! ... 08-22-2016, 11:26 PM

Tristan_Geoff Ki went into OK Computer for... 08-23-2016, 10:16 PM

Key i... 08-23-2016, 10:18 PM

Tristan_Geoff I thought of that earlier... 08-23-2016, 10:21 PM

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Blank. *Raises hand like an idiot* 08-26-2016, 01:47 PM

Frownland Does it count if you always... 08-26-2016, 01:48 PM

innerspaceboy My favorite death metal cover... 08-26-2016, 03:59 PM

DwnWthVwls It's not nearly as good... 08-27-2016, 08:08 AM

The Batlord It's best without an audience... 08-27-2016, 10:59 AM

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innerspaceboy An infinite number of... 08-28-2016, 07:53 AM

DwnWthVwls Lol 08-28-2016, 10:08 AM

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Key :laughing: 10-18-2016, 05:02 PM

The Batlord Nice. 10-18-2016, 05:17 PM

Blue Hawk Elders react to Cannibal... 10-19-2016, 01:30 PM

GuD What's the difference between... 11-20-2016, 07:47 PM

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SGR :clap: 08-12-2021, 03:01 PM

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01-22-2021, 01:09 PM	#11 (permalink)
John Connor Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2015 Posts: 907	Husband thinks his wife has the coronavirus. He takes her in for a blood test. A few days later he calls the hospital. "We're terribly sorry sir. We got our tests mixed up. Your wife tested positive but we're not sure if she has coronavirus or alzheimer's." "Well what should I do, how can I tell which it is?" asks the husband. "We suggest you drive her to a remote spot and leave her there. See if she finds her way home. If she does get home, under no circumstances should you open the door." Last edited by John Connor; 01-22-2021 at 01:51 PM.

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