The Official Joke Thread

[dreadman]

Two hundered years ago, by a few strange turn of events, a farmer was granted one wish by a genie. He had a pretty good life, and all he could think of was an unlimited supply of whiskey (which isn't bad, by the way). "So be it....", the genie exclaimed with a voice sounding a lot like Palin from the Monty Python's Flying Circus. "...from this day forth, your urine shall be whiskey!" Thankful and exited about this prospect, the farmer quickly returned home to give it a try.

When he arrives at his farm, he walks straight in to the house and grabs a cup, pees in it, and suspiciously gives it a sniff. "Hmmm, it smells like whiskey", he says to himself and continues to carefully dip the tip of his finger in the contents of the cup and then give the fingertip a quick lick. "Amazing!! It tastes like whiskey too", he shouts. Now, quite confident that it actually is whiskey, he takes a sip and sits down on his favourite chair to finish the cup.

After a while, his wife comes in and wonders what he is up to. After explaining everything to her, he pours her a cup of whiskey and hands it over. With serious doubt and a very suspicious look on her face, the wife qoes through the same procedure as he first did, but eventually comes to realize that it actually is whiskey. And so, they both lean back and enjoy their whiskey after what usually was a hard day's work -- seeing that they were farmers and this was the early 19th century.

That day happened to be a Monday, and the farmer and his wife came to share a whiskey or two every evening, after the usual farmwork had been finished. That Saturday, however, the farmer managed to finish his chores early, and therefore figured he had the time for a lot of whiskey. So, he grabbed a big water jar, filled it up and set to work on it. He managed to down a respectful amount before his wife showed up and wondered why he hadn't poured her one. The farmer had his wits about him, despite his condition at that time, and thusly replied: "Today's Saturday, honey, you can drink straight from the bottle".