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Old 05-28-2013, 10:04 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Join Date: May 2013
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A piece of string walks into a bar and immediately upon entering the barkeeper yells at him: "Get out of here! We don't serve your kind here!"
The string walks out and ruffs himself up a bit. After that he enters the bar again. The bartender looks at him and asks: "Wait, aren't you that string from earlier?"
The string shakes his head and tells the bartender: "Nope. I'm a frayed knot."

Two hunters go out hunting one day, and one hunter accidentally shoots the other!
So the hunter calls 911. "I shot my friend, we was out huntin' and he's dead!"
The operator replies "Okay sir, I need you to calm down. Now first we need to make sure your friend is dead."
So the hunter goes over and shoots his friend again. Then he says to the operator "Okay, now what?"

It's black and if it falls from a tree, your stove is broken.

- your stove.
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