The Official Joke Thread

[ThePhanastasio]

Some corny nonsense.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
- Because it was dead.

A man is sitting at a bus stop, looking upset. Another man sits next to him, and after a minute, he says, "Hey friend. You look upset. What seems to be the problem?"

"Well," says the man, "I went into the bus stop to get my ticket. The woman at the desk had the most gorgeous breasts you've ever seen, and it was everything I could do not to stare at them. When she asked how she could help me, I meant to ask if I could have one ticket to Pittsburgh, and asked if I could have one picket to Tittsburgh, and she looked at me like I was the scum of the Earth."

"Oh, I understand completely," the other man said, "That's called a Freudian slip. I've done that before"

"Yeah?" asked the other man, feeling that he could have another person to commiserate with, "What did you say?"

"Well, I meant to ask my wife to pass the potatoes, but what came out was, 'You stupid bitch, you ruined my life.' "