The Official Joke Thread

[stanley lambchop]

i apologise in advance but,

'i went into the butchers the other day, i said 'have you got a sheeps head?' he said 'yes' i said 'put it in a bag for for me'

I said 'i want some bacon' he said 'lean back?' i said 'no, smoked middle'

So, outside the butchers there was this lovely little dog tied to a lamp post, i said to the fella 'does your dog bite?' he said 'no' so i stroked it and 'gnarr!' it bit me, i said 'i thought he didn't bite?!! He said 'i'm terribly sorry he must have distemper'