Three widows are discussing what should be done with their husbands ashes. The first widow says "I would like them to be spread over the Atlantic, as my Bill loved nothing more then to fish in the Atlantic". The second widow says "please have my Jacobs ashes spread over central park as he loved to spend many days jogging there". The third widow says "you can just give me Johnnies ashes as I plan on sprinkling them into a bowl of chili so he can tear my ass up one last time".

Ok, I heard this one when I was in 2nd grade... not sure how much comedic value it still possesses... but here it goes.

An American man has to go to China on business and decides, while he is down there, to get himself a prostitute for the evening. As he is doing his thing, the woman keeps screaming.. "ahhh, ching chong way... AHH CHING CHONG WAY!!!!" thinking this means he is doing a good job... he continues with what he is doing and the woman continues to scream "Ching Chong Way". A few weeks later, back in America, the man is playing golf with a Chinese business associate who happens to hit a hole in one. The American man, thinking he learned some new Chinese lingo while on his trip, says "oh, Ching Chong Way!!!". The Chinese man looks at him and says "what do you mean wrong hole?"

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow whMOOOOOOOOOO




Annnndd I'm spent.

I taught my friend's 6 year old daughter this joke, and now every time she sees me she has to tell it about 10 times. And I've had the privilege to hear it with not only a cow, but a wolf and a dog. Thankfully she's cute, so it takes the edge off hearing it for the millionth time.

I think you fucked this joke up.


The way I always heard it:
Why doesn't Texas fall in to the ocean?



Cause Oklahoma sucks.

What did the hat say to the hat rack?

You stay here. I'll go on a head.

Edit:

Why were the ink spots sad?

Because their mother was in the pen and didn't know how long her sentence would be.

How can you spot a blind guy at a nudists colony?

It's not hard

Lawl.

That's funny. It's also a way to spot old women.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny.

Jesus Christ walks into a hotel.
He hands the Innkeeper three nails and asks,
"Can you put me up for the night?".