:(

Now I feel like a joik, with a cheesy brooklyn accent and everything.

I'm not denying that that was funny, it sure as hell was. D: = me laughing.

Puns are the ****!

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex watch for my birthday. It was nice of them but I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch".

Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

a termite walks into a bar and says, ' bar tender?'

Ham sandwich walks into a bar... bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food"

A black kid says, "Mom, I have the biggest d*ck in 3rd grade. It's cuz I'm black huh?"
His mother said "Naw nigga. It's cuz u suppose to be in 8th grade".

one day on the construction site there were three men having lunch on their break. An Italian guy, a Spanish guy and a Polish guy. The Italian guy looks at his lunch and says "Meatball AGAIN!!! damn, if I get meatball tomorrow... I'm jumping off this building". Next the Spanish guy looks at his lunch and says... "Enchiladas again... man, if I have enchiladas tomorrow... I am jumping off this building". Next the Polish guy looks at his lunch and says "Ham and Cheese AGAIN!!! Jeez... if I have Ham n Cheese tomorrow... I too, will jump off this building".

So, the next day the same three guys are having their lunch on the site and the Italian guy opens his lunch and say's... "Ahhh... chicken parm, thank the lord!!!", then the Spanish guy opens his lunch and say's... "YES!!! a Taco salad, praise Jesus!!!", then the Polish guy opens his lunch and says... "F*CK!!! Not Ham and Cheese again!!!" and then he jumps off the building. At this time the Italian guy looks at the Spanish guy and says "I don't get it... he makes his own lunch".

how do you make a sausage roll?

Push it.