The Official Joke Thread

Paul Smeenus · 11-30-2013, 06:43 PM

I heard the same thing, 'cept in the version I was told the guy was missing a foot

Plankton · 12-02-2013, 09:53 AM

Whats good on pie, but not on pussy?

crust

Powerstars · 12-07-2013, 10:59 AM

Wanna hear a Metallica joke?

St. Anger.

The Batlord · 12-07-2013, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Powerstars

Wanna hear a Metallica joke?

St. Anger.

That's very black humor.

~~butthead aka 216~~ · 12-07-2013, 04:18 PM

on a cross country trip, an airplane starts experiencing mechanical failure. the turbulence of the plane has the passengers worried. over the intercom, the pilot tells the passengers to deploy oxygen masks and brace for impact. knowing their time could be limited, passengers begin consoling each other and hugging their loved ones.

a woman on the plane stands up and rips off her shirt. passengers curiously watch as she pulls down her jeans and stands in the aisle in just underwear. "i dont want to die a virgin. someone come up here and make me feel like a woman. i want to feel like a real woman before i die"

one eager man rushes to the woman and rips off his shirt as well. she looks him up and down and says 'can you make me feel like a real woman?' the man smirks. 'of course i can. iron this shirt.'

~~Cuthbert~~ · 12-09-2013, 01:13 AM

You'll like this 216, old but:

What do you tell your wife when she has two black eyes? Nothing. You've told her twice already.

GOATPOP · 12-09-2013, 01:33 AM

What's the difference between an a$$hole and a glove?

You can only fit one hand inside a glove.

**Frownland** · 12-09-2013, 02:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GOATPOP

What's the difference between an a$$hole and a glove?

You can only fit one hand inside a glove.

Speaking from auto-observed experiments, aye?

GOATPOP · 12-09-2013, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

Speaking from auto-observed experiments, aye?

hadta make room for the strap-ons, I please my women brah

The Batlord · 12-09-2013, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Christian Benteke

You'll like this 216, old but:

What do you tell your wife when she has two black eyes? Nothing. You've told her twice already.

12-02-2013, 09:53 AM	#462 (permalink)
Plankton Just Keep Swimming... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: See signature... Posts: 7,765	Whats good on pie, but not on pussy? crust __________________ See location...

12-07-2013, 10:59 AM	#463 (permalink)
Powerstars Music Addict Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 450	Wanna hear a Metallica joke? St. Anger. __________________ Last.Fm My New Journal Favorite Album Of The Moment: They Might Be Giants - Glean

12-09-2013, 01:33 AM	#467 (permalink)
GOATPOP Groupie Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: FACE DEEP IN THE BOOTY Posts: 46	What's the difference between an a$$hole and a glove? You can only fit one hand inside a glove. __________________ "your band is ****ing awesome,you have the best sound you're really really good,you're the best band around" - Anal C(_)NT

12-07-2013, 04:18 PM	#465 (permalink)
~~butthead aka 216~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: freely swimmin thru the waters of glory much like a majestic bald eagle soars thru the skies Posts: 1,463	on a cross country trip, an airplane starts experiencing mechanical failure. the turbulence of the plane has the passengers worried. over the intercom, the pilot tells the passengers to deploy oxygen masks and brace for impact. knowing their time could be limited, passengers begin consoling each other and hugging their loved ones. a woman on the plane stands up and rips off her shirt. passengers curiously watch as she pulls down her jeans and stands in the aisle in just underwear. "i dont want to die a virgin. someone come up here and make me feel like a woman. i want to feel like a real woman before i die" one eager man rushes to the woman and rips off his shirt as well. she looks him up and down and says 'can you make me feel like a real woman?' the man smirks. 'of course i can. iron this shirt.'

12-09-2013, 01:13 AM	#466 (permalink)
~~Cuthbert~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: The Black Country Posts: 8,827	You'll like this 216, old but: What do you tell your wife when she has two black eyes? Nothing. You've told her twice already.