|
Register | Blogging | Today's Posts | Search |
![]() |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
![]() |
#431 (permalink) | |
Cardboard Box Realtor
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Hobb's End
Posts: 7,648
|
![]() Quote:
![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#432 (permalink) |
Groupie
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: liverpool
Posts: 9
|
![]()
i apologise in advance but,
'i went into the butchers the other day, i said 'have you got a sheeps head?' he said 'yes' i said 'put it in a bag for for me' I said 'i want some bacon' he said 'lean back?' i said 'no, smoked middle' So, outside the butchers there was this lovely little dog tied to a lamp post, i said to the fella 'does your dog bite?' he said 'no' so i stroked it and 'gnarr!' it bit me, i said 'i thought he didn't bite?!! He said 'i'm terribly sorry he must have distemper' |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#433 (permalink) |
SOPHIE FOREVER
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: East of the Southern North American West
Posts: 35,541
|
![]()
A woman is trying to smoke a cigarette in front of a crowded bus stop and it's raining. A woman beside her begins smoking a cigarette as well, but first, she takes a condom, snips off the end of it, and covers her cigarette from the rain with it.
The woman having difficulty with her cigarette in the rain thought that this was a good idea and walks to the nearest drug store and asks the clerk for a condom. The clerk then asked: "what size would you like? We have small, medium, large, and extra large." The woman thought for a moment, then she responded "Well, I guess that it would have to be big enough to fit a camel..." Beastiality jokes ![]()
__________________
Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#435 (permalink) |
Groupie
Join Date: May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 4
|
![]()
I'm going to go with short, cheesy ones:
How did the broom get a girlfriend? He swept her off his feet. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the restroom? Because the p is silent.
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Last edited by Saurus; 05-26-2013 at 12:29 PM. |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#437 (permalink) | |
carpe musicam
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Les Barricades Mystérieuses
Posts: 7,710
|
![]()
Is it why "can't you bear" or "why can't you hear?"
__________________
Quote:
![]() "it counts in our hearts" ?ºº? “I have nothing to offer anybody, except my own confusion.” Jack Kerouac. “If one listens to the wrong kind of music, he will become the wrong kind of person.” Aristotle. "If you tried to give Rock and Roll another name, you might call it 'Chuck Berry'." John Lennon "I look for ambiguity when I'm writing because life is ambiguous." Keith Richards |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#438 (permalink) |
Killed Laura Palmer
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ashland, KY
Posts: 1,679
|
![]()
Some corny nonsense.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - Because it was dead. A man is sitting at a bus stop, looking upset. Another man sits next to him, and after a minute, he says, "Hey friend. You look upset. What seems to be the problem?" "Well," says the man, "I went into the bus stop to get my ticket. The woman at the desk had the most gorgeous breasts you've ever seen, and it was everything I could do not to stare at them. When she asked how she could help me, I meant to ask if I could have one ticket to Pittsburgh, and asked if I could have one picket to Tittsburgh, and she looked at me like I was the scum of the Earth." "Oh, I understand completely," the other man said, "That's called a Freudian slip. I've done that before" "Yeah?" asked the other man, feeling that he could have another person to commiserate with, "What did you say?" "Well, I meant to ask my wife to pass the potatoes, but what came out was, 'You stupid bitch, you ruined my life.' "
__________________
It's a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken
Perhaps they're better left unsung |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|