The Official Joke Thread

**Frownland** · 12-23-2011, 10:24 AM

Marijuana is illegal in many places.

neverasitseems · 01-05-2012, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoathsomePete

Dude that's friggin nasty, i love it!

Alright this one is kind of long but it's worth it so keep reading.

So a kid is out shopping with his mum, the kid is about 6 years old so he's still in the impressionable stage of his life. His mum goes into the changing room to try on some dresses and leaves him out in the waiting area. Boredom soon grabs hold of the kid who sees a mannequin wearing a dress, then curiosity takes hold as he begins to pull up the dress to see what's underneath. His mother comes out of the dressing room and sees his hand reaching up the leg and she yells "Jeffrey no! women have teeth there, you'll lose your hand!". Jeffrey quickly retreats his hand and is visibly frightened. His mother scolds him and warns him never to look up a skirt or put his hand there ever again and they go home.

10 years have passed and Jeffrey's parents are now out of town for the weekend, leaving him alone for the first time. He's been homeschooled his entire life but met a girl through a friend and now she's over at his house and making out with him on the couch. After awhile of making out she tells him "you can go a little lower if you want". Jeffrey is not amused with this a boldly states "there's no way in hell I'm going down there, women have teeth there!". The girl is reasonably confused and says "what are you talking about, women don't have teeth in their vagina." Jeffrey's not having it and is convinced that they do and says "yes they do, my mother told me so and my mother would never lie to me." Seeing that she won't be able to convince him otherwise without proof she lifts up her skirt and shows him her vagina and says "see, no teeth." Jeffrey takes a good look and says "yeah well with the condition of those gums I'm not surprised"

Yeah, so obviously I'm new here since I'm just reading this one now, but I will say that if you like this joke, watch the movie "Teeth"... and yes, it's a real movie...

The Monkey · 01-07-2012, 08:16 AM

What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection?
Crackers with cheese.

FETCHER. · 01-15-2012, 04:07 PM

What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Football?

Football's comin' home.

**Frownland** · 02-01-2012, 05:40 PM

People with a Cockney accent never really do h (as in heroin). A lot of people think that it's the same in Mexico and Spain, but they actually just roll it into their j's.

**Scarlett O'Hara** · 02-04-2012, 06:21 AM

I made this up myself, lame I know:

What is it called when a prositute has PMS?

WHORE MOANS

~~someonecompletelyrandom~~ · 02-04-2012, 09:20 AM

Thom Yorke · 02-07-2012, 10:43 PM

"That which does not kill me makes me stronger." - Stephen Hawking trying out irony

"A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!" - Stupidest king ever

"A kingdom! A kingdom! My horse for a kingdom!" - Guy who earlier impulsively traded his kingdom for a horse

In the Captain's defense, "Women and children first" is highly sexist and ageist.

If I had a dollar for every Jew joke somebody made about me, I'd take that money and invest it wisely.

Piotr_13 · 02-12-2012, 06:22 AM

What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a dinosaur?

A LICKALOTAPUS

Howard the Duck · 02-12-2012, 06:36 AM

what do you call a gay dinosaur?

Mega-sore-ass

(Megasaurus)

12-23-2011, 10:24 AM	#381 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	Marijuana is illegal in many places. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

01-07-2012, 08:16 AM	#383 (permalink)
The Monkey Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Sweden Posts: 803	What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection? Crackers with cheese. __________________ Now another stranger seems to want you to ignore his dreams as though they were the burden of some other My Last.fm

02-01-2012, 05:40 PM	#385 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	People with a Cockney accent never really do h (as in heroin). A lot of people think that it's the same in Mexico and Spain, but they actually just roll it into their j's. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

02-04-2012, 06:21 AM	#386 (permalink)
Scarlett O'Hara Make it so Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 6,181	I made this up myself, lame I know: What is it called when a prositute has PMS? WHORE MOANS __________________ "Elph is truly an enfant terrible of the forum, bless and curse him" - Marie, Queen of Thots

02-04-2012, 09:20 AM	#387 (permalink)
~~someonecompletelyrandom~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 4,538

02-07-2012, 10:43 PM	#388 (permalink)
Thom Yorke Music Addict Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 1,848	"That which does not kill me makes me stronger." - Stephen Hawking trying out irony "A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!" - Stupidest king ever "A kingdom! A kingdom! My horse for a kingdom!" - Guy who earlier impulsively traded his kingdom for a horse In the Captain's defense, "Women and children first" is highly sexist and ageist. If I had a dollar for every Jew joke somebody made about me, I'd take that money and invest it wisely.

02-12-2012, 06:22 AM	#389 (permalink)
Piotr_13 Groupie Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: In a van down by the river Posts: 34	What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a dinosaur? A LICKALOTAPUS