The Official Joke Thread

[djchameleon]

if you have any other jokes, just post them in this thread

http://www.musicbanter.com/games-lis...thread-36.html

[Urban Hat€monger ?]

I doubt he does now that he has his 16 posts.

[[MERIT]]

What do a man who is sexually aroused by leap years, and an Asian politician have in common?

Every four years, they have a big erection.

[richie1]

Originally Posted by oojay

What do a man who is sexually aroused by leap years, and an Asian politician have in common?

Every four years, they have a big erection.

Now THAT was funny!

[[MERIT]]

Originally Posted by richie1

Now THAT was funny!

I came up with it, and I think it to be the funniest, most clever thing to ever leave my lips. It's all down hill from here.

[djchameleon]

A dying granny was talking to her granddaughter. "I may die any minute so I want you to inherit my farm including the villa, tractor, the farmhouse, all the livestock and $22,389,630.00 cash". "WoW!!" said the granddaughter 'Thanks granny, I didn't know you even had a farm & all this wealth! Where is it??"

Granny says with her last dying breath. "It's on my Facebook."

[Electrophonic Tonic]

I posted this in the youtube video thread, but I fits better here.

[LoathsomePete]

So a dyslexic man walks into a bra

[djchameleon]

Respect your elders.

The story begins with a lawyer and a senior citizen sitting next to each other on a long airplane flight. The lawyer is thinking that senior citizens are dumb. He is feeling so superior and thought he could get one over on one easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun... "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00," he says.

This catches the senior's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?" The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net. He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up. He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"
The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

[Howard the Duck]

thread bump, as I've just recollected this one:-

a milionaire socialite throws a "human emotion" party, all attendees must come as an emotion in order to gain admission

first one up is a guy all in green with the alphabets "N" and "V" on his chest

he says "i'm green with envy" so the millionaire lets him in

second one is a girl in pink with huge feathers under her armpits

she says "i'm tickled pink", so she gets in also

third are two NY cab drivers, one with his dick in a pear, and the other with his dick in a bowl of custard

the millionaire is shocked and asks them to go away

the cab driver says "i have come in dis pear (despair) and my friend is fucking dis custard (disgusted)"