Also here's a joke.

Why do you never play Uno with a Mexican?

Because they take all the Green Cards. :D

Still Funny!

A guy walked into a bar. "ouch"

A fat man try to ask a woman going out, but woman said to him- 'sorry, I do not eat pork'

A ninety-year-old man walks into the doctor and says, "Doctor, my twenty-year-old wife is pregnant. How could this have happened."

The doctor says, "Let me tell you a story. One day, a man went out hunting, but instead of his gun he picked up an umbrella. A bear started running towards him, so the man took his umbrella without knowing he didn't have his gun, aimed it, and shot the bear."

The man says, "That's impossible. Someone else must have shot the bear."

"Do you see how this relates to you?"

That reminds me of this old gem:

A man goes bear hunting. He's sitting in the treeline of a vast open field when he sees a large Brown Bear making it's way across the field. He takes multiple shots at it with his rifle. No dice. Every shot misses. So he just says, "Damn it.", and stays put to wait for another bear. About ten minutes later he feels something coming up behind him. He turns just in time to see the bear from before, and before he can react, the bear turns him over and rapes him.

The next week, the guy goes back for revenge, this time with a double barrel shotgun. When he spots the bear again, he opens up, but misses yet again. On the way back to his truck, the bear pounces on him and rapes him again.

The next day, he goes back to the field with an AK-47. He sits in his spot for over three hours, waiting for the bear, but there's no sign of it. Just as he's about to call it quits, he feels a tap on his shoulder. It's the bear, and he says, "You're not coming here for the hunting, are you?"

Here is a joke, but not really about me! Enjoy!

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I
desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I
timed my gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished
my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me....

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

What do you use to make pickle bread?




















































dildo.

(lawl this was censored)

HAHA That's a good one.

Why did Crass break up?
They lost their stencil.

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.

How many rude boys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, one to drop it and one to pick it up pick it up pick it up!